No doubt about it. The figure in the mirror was Malfoy alright. Oh, there were a couple differences, to be sure. The hair wasn't as slicked back with gel. The eyes weren't as weaselly. The trim around Harry's uniform was still Gryffindor. But that was Malfoy, loud and clear. He hovered between disappointed and furious. His curiosity got the better of him as he took his shirt off. He was buffer than the standard Malfoy, that much was sure, but he felt something else had changed.
Oh.
"Impressive" said a voice behind him.
Harry immediately covered himself up with his hands. Even though it wasn't technically his, and he had to admit it didn't look all that bad, he wouldn't want to subject the world to a Malfoy Dream... Sausagefest.
"Oh, sure, cover yourself, the immortal teenage ghost that lives in your walls has never gotten a chance to look at it"
"Myrtle"
"Although I did prefer the old model, but y'know, matters of taste"
He blushed as he gathered up his clothes and stepped into a stall, closing the door behind him, only for Myrtle's head to materialize through it anyhow.
"It must be soooo embarrassing for you. Your crush having the hots on your mortal enemy"
"My mortal enemy is a bit uglier, if I recall, Malfoy's just a greasy git"
"Ah, then the fact that it's a greasy git instead is all good then. You don't feel bad about that at all. Your crush — whose life I think you saved at some point — probably has hatefucking fantasies with some quote greasy git unquote, so nothing's the matter"
Harry grit his teeth. Hard. Now he did not hover between fury and disappointment. He felt both very intensely. He wanted to throw something at Moaning Myrtle's face and grabbed the book... Then changed his mind, grabbed his quill and scratched his new rule away. He sat down on a toilet seat and waited for it to take effect, as Myrtle hovered around him with a devilish grin.
"I've always said you boys don't get teenage girls. Trying to be brooding and angsty and all sincere, when it's a well-known fact we all secretly desire slytherins covered in gel with daddy issues. All normal girls want this"
Harry only answered with a cold look as he felt his traits rearrange into themselves. Then, a question popped into his mind.
"How come the book doesn't work on you ?"
"Oh, it's the dumbest reason, really. The book was the founders' and it affects anyone within Hogwarts' boundaries. Except old Salazar didn't feel like sharing the blueprints to this little Florida timeshare down there" she said, probably pointing at the entrance to the chamber of secrets "and the magic is weaker near the border. If I was still alive, I might have only remembered you as this steaming chunk of man-meat but"
"Alright, alright, I get it" said Harry, still brooding
First, Malfoy tries to kill Dumbledore, then he has smarmy git secret plans, and now this... Meanwhile, Harry felt he'd been (to an extent) a good person, all to be rewarded with rejection... After some minutes of tense silence, he turned to Myrtle and said