You approach the stairwell and descend, lead onward by the strains of the saxophone.
"Coltrane," you say to yourself. "Dad used to play that song."
You hear a scrabbling noise and turn around, notice that the rats from the trash bin are
following you. "And what am I, the goddam pied piper?" you say. "Eat up boys, put some
meat on your bones." you say, tossing them a half eaten candy bar you had stuffed into
your jacket pocket earlier. Rats are no strangers to you, having fed one that lived under your kitchen sink table scraps as a boy, being careful not to let your mother catch you at it.
"Rats are filthy beasts!" she had said, but she wouldn't allow you to have any other pets.
She’d even refused to let you keep a poor starving mongrel pup you had once found.
"Just what we need around here, another mouth to feed. Get rid of it right now, or you
won't be having any supper!" She had said. You still remember putting the puppy out on
the sidewalk, how it had whined pitifully and scratched at the door as you walked
dejectedly back up the stairs.
You sat at the table that night twiddling a fork through a plate of half congealed macaroni
and cheese. "Eat up, boy, put some meat on your bones!" your mother had said, lighting
another Lucky off the butt of her previous one. "Got to grow up big and strong so you
can get a job, I’m not gonna be here to feed you forever!"
After supper that night you went back downstairs to check, but the puppy had wandered
off in search of better prospects.
"See! You didn't feed that dog, so he left," your mother said. "Dogs are the same as
people, they all want something. You might think they're your friends, but if you don't give
them what they want they'll leave you."
"Is that what happened with daddy?" you asked. You can still feel the sting of the back of
her hand across your face in reply. You realize now that she thought you were being
sarcastic, but at the time it was only a child's innocent question.
The stairs seem to be endless, and it is getting colder as you descend. “Maybe I should
turn back?” you think.
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