This is the world-- If I covered 1 00 square miles an hour every hour for the rest of my life I'd still only see half of it.
My name is Malcolm.
You want to know what the best thing about childhood is? At some point, it stops. But unfortunately for me, it probably won't. Why? Because I was never potty trained. My parents say I was too hard and eventually just gave up after my brothers were old enough to change me on my own.
It was that time of the month again when mom shaves dads entire body in the kitchen and of course I'm here wrestling with my older brother Reese. As soon as we get to the table and mom has to suddenly get under dads arm pits exposing........all of him to the family. Not exactly something I want to see first thing in the morning. Not like I can judge.
"Malcolm, I want you come home straight after school today. I made you a playdate with that boy Stevie." Said Mom.
"What mom no." I tried to resist. We both know that won't go anywhere.
I had lunch with the kid one time. He's in a wheelchair, its not like I could tell him to go away.
"That one lunch obviously meant a lot to Stevie. He's a human being with human feelings. Now, you are going to be friends with that crippled boy and you are going to like it. Understood?"
"Two babies playing together. Ha!" laughed Reese.
"Boys did one of you change Malcolm this morning?" Asked mom.
"Mom why do we have to change his sticky butt!" Reese complained.
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