*Beep*
........
*Beep*
........
*Beep*
Yes, I can hear it, but I really don't want to get up today.
*Beep*
Did you know that cold weather makes fingernails grow faster?
*Beep*
*Beep*
With a sigh, I surrender to the alarm and hit it hard out of spite. It's 10:13. I'm late.
Do you know why I didn't want to get up today? Because today is Monday, August 20th. Do you know what it is about Monday, August 20th that makes me not want to get up? Because Monday, August 20th is the day that my parents are making me go outside. To look for a job. Well, that, and the fact that I hate getting out of bed on any day. But that makes today especially annoying.
I throw on an old beat up punk outfit and hop onto my raggedy bike, ignoring personal hygiene.
Oh, I guess I have to introduce myself. The names Eddie. Eddie Mayneri. Occupation: Professional Freeloader. When I was little people called me a "problem child".
I'm currently living in a one bedroom apartment, which is paid for by my parents. The only catch is, I have to try looking for employment.
Of course, I'd never actually get a job. I have no work ethic, and I don't see what's so wrong with that. Most people never know true freedom. Most people are brainwashed. Are you truly free in a society where if you don't serve your master 8 hours a day, he won't give you your green paper, and your family will starve to death? Get real.
Anyway, I pretend to try my hardest, send out tons of resumes, then butcher any job interview I get. That way my parents think I'm really trying, and I get to keep my freedom. That's what I plan on doing today.
As I'm cycling along the road, something intriguing catches my eye. It's an old dirt road, that leads into a forest. Nobody ever uses it...I think. I don't think it goes anywhere either....but for some reason it seems to be....calling me. I feel like I should explore, but I can't just miss these interviews...."Meh, I have time to check it out real quick." I think aloud as I start cycling down the dirt road.
I only go for a short while before I come to a halt. There's a tall wired fence with a sign plastered to it that says "PRIVATE PROPERTY. NO TRESPASSING. YOU WILL REGRET.". "You will regret?" Does that mean they're going to shoot me? Or turn me over to law enforcement? Or did I stumble into a 90s horror movie? Pretty crude, but whoever posted this sign seems pretty badass. I suppose a smart person would turn around now. But I'm not smart.
I toss my bike over the fence, and then climb over it myself. I get on my bike and start peddling.
After about 10 minutes, the atmosphere around me....changes. I feel sorrowful for some reason, and the forest seems....dead. But, I can't stop peddling. "What the fuck is this place?..."
After about 20 more minutes, I come across some strange pit. I get off my bike, lean over and take a look. In the pit I can see a faint green light...is this a mining operation or something? But I don't see any ladders, or mining equipment...
It happens suddenly.
I feel a push. I'm falling. This is really happening. Someone definitely just pushed me. I'm definitely falling. And I'm definitely going to die here
All I can do is laugh. What a shitty life I had. And I'll never get another one. Ah, well. It's really funny, I think.
When I'm about to hit the bottom, I lose consciousness.
After awhile, I wake up. "I'm not dead?" I think to myself. "How am I not dead?" "I'm alive?!?!" I try to move, but I can't. I try to scream, but nothing happens. I can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste, but I can't move or speak. After examining my surroundings I seem to be in....
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