5:30 p.m.
"Ross I know it's quitting time, but I have a very important assignment
for you. I need your special skills," my boss, Devin Prickly III
demanded. "There is a $5000 bonus, if you pull it off tonight." Prickly
was never careless with money. It had to be something big. You don't get
to be senior partner in the biggest law firm in Phili, wasting money.
"What's the catch?" I replied.
"It's the Meyer's account. That no good nephew Dale still hasn't signed
the release. If I don't turn it into court by noon tomorrow, it will cost
Old man Meyers a shit load. He may even move his accounts if I don't get
it," said my boss.
"I thought Hedi, was going to get it signed last night."
"Stupid cunt almost had it. Wined and dined the little prick. He was
about to sign when dip shit pinched her on the ass. She slapped him, and
walked out. We have one more chance. I found out Dale is going to the big
Halloween party at 'the Underground'. Get him drunk, and get his John
Hancock on that paper. It's worth 5 grand to me, my boy."
I thought about it. I'm the best schmoozer in the company, and the old
fart knows it. He can't afford not to blow it. "I want $10,000, under the
table, and an office with a view of something better then a brick wall."
"$7000 and a corner office."
I could see the sweat starting to form on Prickly's lip. I knew I had
him. "I'll need another grand and $2000 up front, I'm going to need to
hire some of Liv's girls to seal the deal"
We shook on it, as my boss told me Dale would be arriving at the big bash
at "the Underground", about 8 dressed as Superman. Now I had to get a
costume at 5:45 on Halloween. I knew it couldn't be lame. A really good
costume would get our conversation started. Buy him some shots with a
little grain thrown in when he wasn't looking + 2 of Liv's finest. He'd
be putty in my hands.
6:50 p.m.
I was at the 3rd costume shop. Every cool outfit had been rented or sold.
The manager was about to close up when I waved 5 Ben Franklins, under his
nose. I had his full attention, as he lead me into a back room. He pulled
a large dusty white box off the shelf and said, "This has been sitting
back here for 5 years. Some woman special ordered it for her husband.
Paid a shit load for it. Most realistic get up I've ever seen. Ain't
doin' anybody a lick of good back here." He started pulling out the
costume. First was a large black dress. followed by black penny loafers,
gloves with liver spots, and long yellow nails. Next came red and white
striped stockings, a set of crooked fake yellow teeth, a silver pentagram
pendent and a pointy black hat.
I didn't know if I wanted to go as a witch, but for $8000 a guy is
willing to do almost anything. The manager struggled as he brought out a
body suit. It looked like a large version of what Robin Williams wore in
Mrs. Doubtfire, but it was even more realistic. There were moles with
hair poking out of them. The skin looked like dried out beef jerky. There
was even hair covering the crotch and armpits. The most astounding thing
were the large pendulous breasts, with nipples that stuck out like little
thumbs. Finally he pulled out the mask. It was hideous. The white hair
went out in all directions looking more like straw then hair. The chin
stood out at least 2 inches past the mouth. There was only one eyebrow
but it covered both eyes. The long sagging ears had large silver hoop
earrings, the nose almost 4 inches long and crooked as if it had been
broken 3 or 4 times. The face was old wrinkled and covered in moles. I
might even win first prize at the costume party on top of things.
"The zipper is upside down, that way you don't have to take the whole
suit off to pee," the manage told me as he helped me slip into my suit.
It was tight but not too uncomfortable. It was a little hard getting used
to walking, trying to counteract all the jiggling, as I went to the
mirror. I looked down right ugly. The butt was saggy, the belly drooped
covered my dick. The breasts were flat as pancakes, extending down to the
navel. The suit even had cellulite body hair, spider and varicose veins.
I put on the dress. The sleeves of the dress were made out of a
transparent material, showing the bingo arms and arm pit hair. I put on
the stockings and shoes and laughed. The mask felt a little
claustrophobic, as it fit like a second skin. The straw like hair gave
way as I put on the pointed hat. Finally I put the false teeth in my
mouth.
"That looks like the smile of a person that would eat little children," I
said to the person in the mirror that only had 8 yellow teeth in her
head. "This outfit is almost perfect! You would think there would be a
big ol' pair of granny panties to go with it."
"That's part of the joke, you're supposed to moon people. After all it's
not indecent exposure if you are in a flesh colored body suit," laughed
the manager.
I laid the 500 on the counter and said, "Thanks bub, can you call me a
cab, I'm running a bit late?"
8:15 p.m.
I walked into "the Underground", the place was packed, with all kinds of
costumed weirdoes. I just caught sight of Dale as he walked into the
men's room. Quickly I called up Liv, telling her to send over 2 of her
finest, in costume. I then stepped over to the bar, and ordered a strait
bourbon. I sat down in a bar stool, my ass ran over the sides of the
seat. The bartender came back with my drink. I pulled out a 20 to pay
him, when the bartender told me that the guy in the devil suit had payed
for my drink.
The devil walked over and sat next to me. Next thing I know a boxer sat
on the other side of me and ask if he could freshen my drink. The devil
looked at the boxer and said, "Look Rocky, I saw her first, and she's
drinking my drink! So amskray butt hole!"
"Look you little puke! I'll pound you into the ground if you don't leave!
She wants to be with a real man."
The devil stood up and was about to lay one on the boxer, when I saw Dale
step out of the shitter. I stood up and said in a voice imitating the
witch from "the Wizard of Oz", "Look dearies I have better things to do
then deal with you 2. I'm with Superman over there. So get out of my way
or I'll turn you both into toads. Not that it would make much of a
difference." They both looked at me with wide eyes, as I walked over to
an overweight Superman that was 2 inches shorter then me.
I don't know why, but when I saw Dale, I kept talking like "the Wicked
Witch of the West". "Tell me deary, would you like to join me for some
broth from my cauldron? Ehaaaaaaa!"
With that he took my hand, and lead me to a booth in the far corner. I
was a bit creeped out, but if I could get his signature, I be in a pile
of green come Monday.
Dale looked me in the eye and said, as he pinched my butt, "You have got
to be the most amazing person I've seen tonight. What are you drinking?"
He ordered a double "Johnie Walker black label" on the rocks, and I had
another bourbon. As he put his arm around me, I started to sweat. What
was wrong with this guy? By the time our second round of drinks arrived,
so did the whores from Liv's. I recognized them both. Samon was in a skin
tight cheetah outfit, silicone DDD complementing her otherwise petite
frame. While Babs was in a full figured dominatrix get up. I watched as
most of the men in the joint were eying up our table.
The 2 girls were about to sit down when Dale said, "Sorry girls there is
only room here for me and my lady. Go away!"
Samon and Babs, looked at each other puzzled by what they had heard.
"Bill's still the same," I heard Babs say as she walked away, looking for
a new "John".
The I noticed, all the guys that were still looking at our table, were
not watching the hoes as they left they were checking out me. One guy's
girlfriend slapped his face as he was checking me out. I ordered another
drink.
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