First, you try to remove your glove. Keeping the one with the pie in it at arm's length, you bite down on the middle finger of your other glove and try to pull your hand out of it. It won't budge. You tug and tug, but you feel like it's either been tied on at the wrist, or glued in place. You try biting the other fingers and tugging with a continued lack of effect. You bite the thumb of the glove.. and taste a bit of glue. Now your mouth is stuck, and you look like you're sucking your thumb. A passing pair of ladies laugh at you, and make a half heard comment about a "big baby."
Try as you might, you can't tug your glove from your mouth, but you spy a signpost in the park and get an idea. At the signpost, you're in view of some picnickers, but you ignore them as you wrap your fingers around the post and lean back away from it. Jerking, twisting and leaning, you feel your lips losing their hold on your thumb, and you redouble your efforts.
Suddenly, your lips part, and you fly back, away from the signpost. You lose your grip on the post and spin out of control on your stumbling clown shoes.
*WACK*
Your forehead smacks into a tree branch, and you drop like a multicolored sack of bricks, flat on your back. Dazed, you sit up and touch your injured noggin. The world goes white, and you can hear the picnickers laughing at you. You just smacked your forgotten pie into your own face.
Dripping globs of shaving cream from your plastered clown nose, you stagger back onto your clown shoes, rip the empty pie tin from your glove using your teeth, and march off in anger as people continue to guffaw at your predicament.
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