Suddenly, Arthur heard a knock at his front door. He willed Mrs Henderson to vanish, and he headed downstairs, not bothering to cover up. He opened the door, and saw a young girl knelt before him, wearing pure white robes, with two wings protruding from her back.
"Uh..who are you?" Arthur asked her.
"My apologies for disturbing you Lord," the girl said. "I am Amia, your chief archangel, and personal assistant."
"I have an assistant?" Arthur asked.
"Yes Lord," Amia replied. "I am sworn to obey you and your predecessors and successors for all eternity. I am to advise you in the running of the universe. At least, if that is your will."
"Uh...sure," Arthur said. "Why don't you come in and we'll talk."
"Yes Lord."
Amia stood up, keeping her head bowed. She followed Arthur into the living room, where he sat on the sofa. She knelt down in front of him.
"Why are you doing that?" Arthur asked his angel.
"My apologies Lord, but many of your predecessors demanded this of me whenever I was in their presence," Amia explained. "May I assume I have your permission to stand?"
"Sure, sit next to me," Arthur replied, and Amia did so. "So what's all this running the universe stuff?"
"With all due respect Lord, I'd have thought you of all people would know," Amia explained. "As God, it is your job to answer prayers, judge the dead, approve weather patterns and natural disasters, set holy laws for your followers, and trillions of other jobs."
"I can't possibly do all that!"
"Yes you can Lord. You are omnipotent. Your power exceeds that of any other being in the universe. And you have myself and the other angels to advise you. I was created by the original God for this role. I have existed longer than anyone else. I won't let you mess up."
"But why me? Why am I special?"
"You were chosen by the last God to succeed him. I helped him to make the decision to choose you. You should have seen some of the other candidates he had lined up: One of his friends, a pop star, a middle-aged man, his cousin, the list goes on. You knew him you know. He was one of the boys who used to come to your church. Jack Simmons."
"Oh yes, I remember him. You mean you tell me he was God? I suppose that explains the time I caught him ruining the Our Father, saying: "Me, who art here, hallow be my name. My kingdom come, my will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven. Give me this day my daily fuck, and don't bother forgiving me anything, since I'm perfect! And make sure to tempt me, since I can give into it if I want, and none of it will be evil! Amen." I really gave him a telling off after that. Plus how he seemed to develop really quickly a few months ago. And all the attractive young girls he seemed to bring with him."
"That's what happens when someone is given the powers just as they reach sexual maturity," Amia said. "He spent most of his reign fucking whomever took his fancy, leaving me to do all the work. And sometimes he'd just force me to have sex with him for centuries at a time, during which no work got done at all, and the universe was plunged into chaos."
"How is that any different to me?" Arthur asked. "I've been basically fucking non-stop since I got the powers."
"But you've gotten bored with it. You know when to stop. Jack was sex-mad for his entire reign. And you want to do something good to help others with your powers, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do."
"So running the universe is a good idea. But if it is your will to spend billions of years fucking around with no regard for anyone else, then your will shall be done. I shall obey anything you ask of me, no matter how much I disapprove."
"That sounds a lot like slavery."
"I agreed to this, so if I don't like it, it's my fault. I can disobey if I want, but when you disobey an omnipotent being, the punishments tend to be quite...severe. I've learned that the hard way. It's why I was bowing so much when I arrived. I didn't want to annoy you."
"Well don't worry Amia, I won't be punishing you like that unless I have to."
"Thank you Lord."
Arthur then realised he was staring at Amia's large boobs, which were somehow visible against her loose robes.
"Uh...sorry," he said, expecting a slap.
"You need not apologise Lord," Amia said. "My master created me as the embodiment of pure beauty. The sight of me has been known to induce uncontrollable sexual climax in mere mortals. We once visited a young man who was the King of a kingdom on a faraway world. One look at me, and he spent the rest of his life cumming. I asked God to free him from the curse, but he just found it funny, and kept him like that all his life. It helped his approval rating though. The people thought he was blessed by God. And there was the guy who saw me once, and spent the rest of his life begging to see me again, but God just ignored him. When he died though, I managed to get God to allow me to be the one to welcome him to heaven."
"If it's not too much trouble though Lord, I would like our relationship to stay professional though," Amia requested. "I have what you would call a husband. He does get very annoyed when Gods use me as their personal fuck toy. Especially because unlike the other angels who try to hit on me, he can't threaten dire retribution on them."
"No problem Amia," Arthur agreed.
"Well then Lord, shall we begin?" Amia asked.  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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