Naruto scowled just a little, looking at the book his mentor had just handed him. They were less than a mile from getting back to the Leaf, and that dirty old Pervy Sage chooses now to have him proofread his next piece of smut?
"For the last time, Pervy Sage! I'm your apprentice," he muttered, readying his arm to lob the book at Jiraiya's head. "Not your editor!"
Jiraiya snorted, lazily catching Naruto's arm before the blonde could toss the book.
"Dumbass," he drawled. "Take another look. That thing's older than the council members. How could I have written it?"
Naruto glared at Jiraiya, but nonetheless did as the man said.
He blinked.
"This thing looks old as dirt," he said eloquently.
"Nearly so, probably," Jiraiya responded. "And it's not just any old book, either. Near as I can tell, it's a serious piece of sealing work. Can rewrite reality and everything."
Naruto's eyes widened, his jaw dropping, mouth agape, as what his mentor had just so flippantly told.
"Ehhhh?!" he exclaimed. "Re-reality? You mean, like we're living in?"
Jiraiya sighed longsufferingly.
"Yes, brat," he said. "Like the one we're living in."
Naruto frowned.
"You're bullshitting me, aren't you?" he said, eyeing his teacher with narrowed eyes. "If you had a book that could change reality, you wouldn't give it to me. You'd use it yourself to get, I dunno, infinite hookers and booze."
"Tried it," said Jiraiya with a bored shrug. "Didn't work, so I figured 'Hey, why not pawn this off on my student? He'd probably be gullible enough to take it.'"
Naruto glared daggers, and this time he did throw the book.
Or tried to, anyways.
It kinda burst into smoke after hitting Jiraiya's head, not even staying long enough to impart its momentum into his skull, before disappearing.
Then it reappeared, with another puff of smoke, in Naruto's hand.
"Yeah, that won't work, kid," said Jiraiya, not even bothering to glance at Naruto, his pupil was so predictable. "The book does that any time you try to damage it or throw it away. So obviously there's something to it." He then shrugged. "Just nothing I'm interested in. The only way to get rid of the book is to give it to someone else, though I'd suggest you at least give it a try."
Naruto scowled at Jiraiya, but decided that, what the hey, maybe he might as well try it anyway.
Cracking it open to its first page, which was covered in sentences in various hands that were all crossed out with what looked to be red ink, Naruto took out a pen and wrote (beneath an atrocious scrawl which said, verbatim, 'I have infinite hookers and booze') the words:
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
More by this author