Chapter #6double sawing by: Unknown As you and Jenny make your way onto the stage, Isabella rolls out a long, two-part table with two slender boxes stowed underneath. She stood there with an amused look on her face until you and Jenny had, arrived, as it were. After a bit of introductory banter, her presentation began.
“Now”, she said “here’s a classic illusion that you two are going to help me with, ‘Sawing a Lady in half’, so Jenny, it’s your time to shine.”
You stare on in amazement as Jenny (whom you have long nursed a soft spot for) lays herself out on the table, with only minimal prodding, stretches herself out on the table, to be sawed in half. Isabella enlists your help to place stocks over Jenny’s neck and feet, while pointing out various features of the prop; the table is only an inch thick, and not canted at all, Jenny has been visible the whole time, and what’s more the box is see through. All of this builds suspense for you as well as the rest of the audience, and Jenny’s bemused demeanor is particularly ‘intriguing’ to you. You get more and more wrapped up in thought and wonder at the proceeding, to the point that you almost miss it when Isabella stops all the action to say;
“but I guess using a woman is a little ‘old-hat’ and overdone, huh?”
“Beg your pardon?” you reply
“Well,” Isabella explains “I’d bet that most everyone in this audience has seen a woman sawn in half, but a man on the other hand…”
All too eager to avoid the logical confusion you protest that “the trick is ‘sawing A WOMAN in half’, using a man would ruin the effect.”
But Isabella ignores you and proceeds to release Jenny from the box. As she pulls up the stocks and unclips the box top, she goes on a little soliloquy about why you should be the new occupant of the box. She points out that it is equally difficult to saw a man or a woman in half, that she’s got a chance to bring out something new, and that the ladies of the audience deserve a little treat. You remain unconvinced. At this point Jenny is finally out of the box and she and Isabella have a quick exchange in hushed tones, before looking at you with twin wicked smiles. With an exaggerated sway in their hips, the pair walks over to you and grab your shoulders while rubbing up against you in an exceedingly sensuous manner.
“You know” Isabella says “this isn’t a one way street”
“Exactly” adds Jenny “I would certainly make it worth your while”
Ordinarily you wouldn’t fall victim to such trickery, but you’ve got a lot of female on you making seemingly open-ended offers to you in exchange for a stage act. Your thought process is not what it usually is. The hoots and hollers of the women in the audience finally push you over the edge and you acquiesce. Smitten by feminine charm, you allow these two vixens to guide you over to the table where they lay you out and fasten you into the box. You start to think that your surrender was a mistake, but as if on cue, Isabella leans over to adjust the box, and you get a look down her blouse. The glorious sight reassures you that if this is part of the ‘price’, the reward will be more than worth whatever you have to endure. You brace yourself as Isabella and Jenny line up a lumberjack-style, two-handle saw over your waist.
“OK Jenny” Says Isabella, in a serious-yet-joking tone “this is your last chance to swap out places with you little friend here.”
“I’m good” Jenny replies
“Are you sure? Let’s not forget how willing he was saw you in half. Or rather, how hard he argued to put you in the box to save himself”
“Well, when you put it that way…what are we waiting for, let’s go to town on the bastard!”
The actual sawing was not quite as gut-wrenching as you expected. It was unpleasant, sure, but not altogether painful. In only 3 strokes the saw ate right through your waist, only to slow down upon reaching your spine, which took it good dozen, before exiting through the bottom of the box. At Isabella’s direction, Jenny picked up two dividers and plunged them through the box. Although it looked dramatic, it didn’t feel like much, since they weren’t actually cutting everything. You were treated to a great view of Jenny’s assets as she leaned over your head and grasped the table, at which point there as a sudden tug, and you realize that your lower half is several feet away. Isabella and Jenny take their bows to thunderous applause.
In a puff of smoke, Isabella produces a second table and beckons Jenny over to it. As Jenny complies, it occurs to you that this is probably your reward, a tit-for-tat, scenario. Not bad, you figure, your vantage point isn’t that great, but seeing Jenny take the saw is kind of turning you on (albeit from about 15 feet away).
“All right, Jenny” Isabella explains as she works her magic on Jenny “Now we’re going to make things up to your little friend. When the two of you came up here, he was expecting me to saw you in half, and instead we sawed him in half. So now, we’re, or I suppose, you’re, living up to that expectation. BUT, we also came up with a means of making it up to him, didn’t we?”
At this point, Jenny was playing host to two steel dividers, but her two table halves were still latched together.
“We did!” Jenny agrees “So let’s make like a banana and split!”
“Valiant effort, but leave the jokes to me” says Isabella as she rolls Jenny’s two pieces apart.
At this point, Isabella takes her time to delineate to the audience exactly what’s been going on as a proof that the four boxes on stage do in fact contain what they appear to contain. You and Jenny are rolled around the stage while Isabella interacts with all of the boxes. The last item on the laundry list of proof points is Isabella fastening Jenny’s leg-box (and its curvaceous contents) to your top-box, and vice versa. She lines you up so she is between you and Jenny, holding the foot ends of the tables. She tickles the feet on her right and the head on the left laughs, the she tickles the feet on her left and the head on the right laughs. You have to admit that it’s pretty funny.
“And if you think that was funny, you’ll love this next bit” Isabella announces.
At that she yanked on the boxes to bring the seams in right next to her sides, and in one fluid motion, pulled out the four blades.
  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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