Winter vacation has come at last and Edna cannot leave the school fast enough. For her Springfield Elementary is the bane of her existance, every day she smokes and drinks because of how much she hates that place, and yet, once upon a time she was a bright eyed teacher who was eager to make a difference in her student's lives...
And then she met BART SIMPSON.
He crushed her spirit, he ruined her dream job, and now as she finally flees the building eager to escape it's clutches, it is he who she is most glad to be free from. If only there was a way to stay employed and not have to ever go back there again. To never have to teach, to never have to suffer...
But such fancies are just dreams, and as she drives home she sighs, best to put it out of mind.
Her day passes much as it always does, taking care of a few chores, hunting the local bars for vigourous young men to have her way with, when she notices something strange. She sees a man at the bar, a huge man, who must weigh 500 pounds or more, yet she thinks she knows him. She keeps her eye on him for much of the night, trying to put her finger on how she knows him, when finally at the bar he notices her.
"Edna, is that you?" he says
Edna turns to face him and looks surprised "ohhhhh, hi there...it's been too long" she says awkwardly, still not knowing who this huge man is.
He laughs however "Haha you don't know who I am do you? It's me, Clint. We dated a few years back"
Edna's eyes go wide as she remembers. Clint was an extremely hunky fireman she dated, he was in the peak of physical health and really sexy, but like with all her partners it didn't last. She takes in now just how much he has changed "wow, I didn't recognise you at all!"
Clint laughs again "yep I have changed quite a bit, it's all this" he says and jiggles his enormous belly "I got injured at work and took a year to heal, couldn't work out or anything and well, the weight just started piling on. By the time i was ready to go back to work they told me I was legally disabled because I was 'hyper obese', so now i get to stay at home and don't have to work, but still get paid as if i were. It's the best!"
Edna frowns "that doesn't sound right, is that really a thing?"
Clint smiles "it sure it, here let me find you the page" he says and takes out his phone and goes onto a website listing various laws both federal and state until he finds it, he hands it to her and for a few minutes she reads it.
"No way...!" she says in shock and awe "Full pay and never having to work again!"
"I know right!" Clint says "it's the best thing to ever happen to me"
"I'm tempted to do it myself" Edna chuckles "freedom from those brats at the school, to be free from the soul crushing shackles of that wretched school. It is all I dream about anymore"
"then do it" Clint says "gain the weight and free yourself"
Edna looks surprised at him and then thinks about it, she looks conflicted "I don't know. I mean, I'm still looking for a good man who I can settle down with and if i gain nearly 400 pounds that'll never happen. Plus, no offence, i'll be a freak, a laughing stock of town"
Clint just smirks "Edna, what town do we live in?"
"Springfield...why?" she frowns
"What is the fattest town in the fattest country in the world?" Clint asks
"...Springfield..." she answers
"So if there were one place in the entire world where being 450 pounds was not only socially acceptable but quite frankly, 'normal', where would that be?" Clint says more dramatically now
"Springfield!" Edna says getting more excited thanks to Clint's pushing
"Thats right! So how about it?" he asks
"yeah, alright. Lets do this!" Edna grins
"Atta girl" he grins back and climbs off of his multiple bar stools "then lets go to Krusty Burger, you've got a long way to go and Spring term starts in just a few months"
Edna nods and gets up going with him, caught up in the hype he generated, eager and excited to reach 450 lbs and free herself from Springfield Elementary once and for all.
So where to next?
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