The Illusive Man sat in his office, pondering the recent events of the Reaper war. After a failed assault on the Citadel to assassinate the council in order to get them out the way, He had ordered his research team to devise a method to remove the main hindrance to his plans, Commander Shepard. A beep from his holographic console indicated an incoming call. He took a puff from his cigarette before answering.
"Go ahead"
"Sir, we believe we have produced a means to pacify Shepard enough so he's no longer a threat. However, it's somewhat... unconventional".
The Illusive Man raised his eyebrows with curiosity.
"I'm intrigued Dr, tell me... Stasis? Temporary Displacement?"
"It's a microscopic nanite weapon Sir..."
"I see" he said, tapping his cigarette over the ashtray" I trust the effect of these nanites isn't deadly, or permanent. As much as I hate to say it, Shepard is a good means of failsafe"
"No sir, it has a much more peculiar effect, once introduced to a male body, it increases hosts hunger, as well the rate of adipose tissue build up"
"You mean to say... it will make him fat?" quizzed the Illusive Man. "Shepard will notice immediately, he'll find a way to reverse the effects"
"Not exactly, if you'll cast your mind back to when Shepard was in our employment, he mounted an exhibition to the crash site of the Hugo Gernsback, on the planet Aeia, in search of Jacob Taylor's father...."
"Yes yes I remember" Interrupted the Illusive Man, waiving his and impatiently.
"As you'll recall, he discovered a strange species of flora, one that had strange effect on the mental activity of anyone consuming it"
"The plant was toxic, and caused damage to the brain as I recall. We're trying to make Shepard passive, not mentally handicapped"
"But we've managed to alter the makeup of the toxin, and in a small dose, made it so we can alter the perception of reality to anyone exposed".
"So no one will question any... anomalies, such as Shepard gaining weight" added the Illusive Man. "Impressive"
"Exactly Sir, and any other male he interacts with"
"Why does the weight gain only affect males?"
"The toxin had a secondary effect, making males more aggressive. We've altered the chemical reaction that causes the aggression, and made it a passive one, which, by effect, caused the increase in weight. The nanites release this chemical at a defined rate, allowing you to control the process, Sir"
"And this affects males of all races?"
"All races present on the Normandy Sir... with the exception of Asari, naturally". continued the scientist. "But all subjects, regardless of gender or race, should be affected by the perception alteration properties of the toxin"
"Excellent. This is a very interesting discovery indeed" complemented the illusive man.
"There are several effects I haven't mentioned sir, that affect Shepard specifically for some reason" continued the scientist. "It'll cause severally increased... gas, flatulence, as well as a decline in personal hygiene, need for excersise..,"
"You mean to say not only will it make Shepard overweight, but also make him a slob?"
"Yes, but.."
"Then deploy it as soon as possible"
"Yes... sir. We'll have a micro drone infiltrate the Normandy and target Shepard when it next docks at the Citadel Sir"
"Perfect. And be sure that Dr. T'soni... or any other female crew member doesn't catch on after the nanites have administered. And don't forget EDI, I assume the toxin won't effect an AI and she's bound to notice".
"We'll work on it immediately Sir"
"Perfect..."
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