You start off with some stretches. After all, your disregard for safety shouldn't come at the expense of your health. That would just be crazy. Well, OK, your disregard for safety often DOES come at the expense of your health, but how uncool is it to be taking destiny into your own hands only to be slowed down by getting a leg cramp?
Speaking of uncool, as you did your lame little stretches and took in the view, you felt a shadow overtake you. You look up, and perhaps you shouldn't have, because your new view was about to get up close and personal with a truly titanic tush.
I mean, wow. You were just so busy being a dork that you went and got yourself sat on. Talk about uncool. You tried to struggle, but the sheer weight had you paralyzed. Trapped, crushed and humiliated, you tried to look on the bright side. But light was also denied you by this colossal butt.
After a few minutes of agony, you were finally moving, though not of your own volition. You felt the rush of speed as the shapely seat you adorned was launching itself back into the water. With your head no longer wedged betwixt pounding cheek and craggy rock, you could hear a girlish giggle just before the splash that drowned your world.
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