"Oh no, the asteroid creeper has Don!" Moolia knocked her hooves nervously together as the footage cut to her Cosmic Crew shipmate, Hippo Don, being swung about by a tentacle emerging from the impact crater.
"AAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaa!" Hippo Don yelled. "Somebody drop the phat beats on this thing and save me! I'm about to loose my cookies!"
There was a shrieking cry as Fuchsia the Flamingo came onto the screen in an action pose, fight lines radiating around her. She was about kick the tentacle to free Don but she was snatched up too by the asteroid creeper's clutches!
"Oh no, the asteroid creeper has Fuchsia!" Moolia exclaimed, with the same motions as before.
Gerbert Gerbil crouched upon landing as his jetpack shut off. "We have to get our friends out of the asteroid creeper's clutches, Moolia! Or we're going to be in a jam!"
"Jam?" Moolia's pink spots glowed brightly. "How is jam going to help us?"
"You're right, Moolia, jam is too sticky. What we need is something slick. GAHH!"
"Oh no, the asteroid creeper has Gerbert too!" Moolia cried.
"Moolia, you need to do something or the asteroid creeper will have all of us!" Fuchsia cried, as all other members of the Cosmic Crew were seen being flung about by different tentacles in their respective craters.
"Yeah Moolia, like I said!" Gerbert shouted. "We could really go for some Cosmic Crew blue slush right about now!"
"Oh, right!" Moolia struck a pose. Her blue spots glowed vibrantly. After she charged up power, a thick blue stream shot out of her udders. The blue wave splashed over each Cosmic Crew member. The fluid made them slippery enough that they fell out of the clutches of the asteroid creeper. There was an alien shriek as the tentacles withdrew into the craters.
Gerbert stood up, shaking the blue slush off of him. "Thanks for saving us, Moolia! I guess the asteroid creeper couldn't handle the cold."
"Ugh! I feel horrible." Both Hippo Don and Fuchsia were collapsed against each other, each seeing stars and patched up with bandages from the last time they had been seen.
"Don't worry, I'll have you fixed up with an iconic Cosmic Crew malted milkshake!" Moolia said. "These malted milkshakes are an excellent source of calcium!"
Once again frozen desert shot out of Moolia's udders, only this time topping off each of the malted milkshake glasses the Cosmic Crew had not been holding in the previous shot. There was the tri-split cut of each wounded Cosmic Crew member drinking down the restorative malted milkshake.
"That's great, Moolia!" Gerbert exclaimed as Hippo Don and Fuchsia struck revitalized poses behind him. "It's a good thing we had those medicative procedures programmed into your spare parts!"
"Parts?" Fuchsia asked, confused. "Moolia is a cyborg? I thought she was a mutated cow!"
"I thought she was infected with the Nutritious Drinks Space Disease." Don added.
"Yes!" Moolia said as the tri-colored cow struck a cute pose, not confirming any of the possible explanations for her squirting frozen desserts. The Cosmic Crew shared a good laugh as they hopped back on their spaceship, blasting off into the end credits.
"Man, that is one weird show," said Vinnie Paulson, shifting on the couch as he scratched his mustache. He took another hint on his blunt. "Most of the episodes have Moolia shoot something weird out of her udders."
"Aw common, I think it's funny," said Sandy Helder, motioning for her share of the joint. As she leaned over her gut almost toppled over the popcorn bowl.
The weighty pair were sunk deep into the staff lounge coach, of which there was barely enough room for their snack bowls with their combined mass. There was an unseasonal heat wave in the county, most of the usual child clientele was down to cool off at the town pool. Most of the staff had left for the door without business, with only a few like Vinnie and Sandy staying on. Vinnie, since he had started, took it as yet another time to light up on the clock without getting reported by Mabel Lynn, the manager. Sandy had offered the idea of watching the old Cosmic Crew cartoons on tape that the restaurant had stacked in the back room.
Vinnie had become a bad influence for Sandy, a pleasant girl who worked in the kitchen, after he had introduced her to his friend Mary Jane. Now even the kind and caring cook was eager for any time Vinnie was sharing pot. And with getting stoned came hella' munchies for the big eaters.
"They used to show these cartoons a bunch over the televisions back when the animatronics were getting installed," Sandy said as she exhaled her drag. "The kids like them."
"Hmm." Vinnie took back the blunt. It might have been the affect of watching cartoons while high, because Vinnie was starting to have strange fantasies about Moolia's udders.
There was the crinkle of chip bags as Sandy hefted her bulk closer. "You know," she said in high spirits, "the Moolia animatronic can do the same thing."
Vinnie coughed hard. Once he managed to catch his breath he choked out a reply. "No shit?"
Sandy hefted herself out of the well worn couch groove. "Yeah. It's a protocol saved only for private parties with the deluxe party package. Moolia will travel to your party room and dispense your frozen treats herself. Kids eat it up."
To the less drug-addled mind this would be questionable feature for a children's animatronic filled restaurant. But damn if Vinnie wasn't having several pleasure centers crossed in his mind.
The Moolia animatronic shared little with her animated derivative apart from the color scheme, a white heifer with pink, yellow and blue spots. Some of this was due to the fluidity of the animation, where cartoon Moolia had wider hips and prominent udders. The animatronic didn't have the same proportions although the udders were still sizable, if not as obvious. Vinnie had never imagined they were functional.
"So how does this work?" he asked.
"There's a switch on her back to get her in vending mode," Sandy said, trying to reach around. "Provided her tank is topped off from her refueling station."
"Refueling station?" Vinnie had no clue about any of this in the time he had been forced to find a job at Gerbert's.
"Come on, get your cup ready," Sandy nudged him, as the Moolia animatronic changed modes.
"Ready for dessert?" Moolia said in the same bubbly voice as the cartoons.
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