This choice: It's Shannon along with a waitress body wearing Earl • Go Back...Chapter #4It's Shannon and Earl...the new waitress by: Cardio   Frank was hoping that he had been dreaming when he thought about Earl shooting him with some crazy gun that gave him his daughter's dog's body, but when there was a loud knocking on the door Frank tried to stand up and was brought back to his crazy reality. Frank tried to stand up out of his chair on his own two hind legs but his labrador legs quickly buckled and he fell about a foot to the floor. The knocking at the door continued. Not wanting anyone to see him like a freak, he ran back behind the couch and bent down hoping no body would see him or Daisy in his body asleep on the floor. Another set of knocks then Frank heard a voice on the other end. "Come on Frank, let me us in."
Frank breathed a sigh of relief that it was his brother finally coming to his senses and ready to turn him back. "I can't exactly open the door currently dumbs. Use the key taped under the mailbox."
Frank heard the tumblers unlock and went from being excited to see his brother to very disturbed. Instead of his brother having his normal tall and overweight body with his usually poorly dressed self, his brother's head now sat atop the body of a short hispanic girl wearing very cut off jeans and a small flannel shirt that was tied up to show off his now C cup boobs. Frank could only let out a guteral, "Whuuu." Upon seeing Earl with this body, it took him a fell few seconds to realize that Earl didn't come alone.
"Oh my God, you actually did swap your brother with a dog and left him here alone." Frank was surprised to hear the voice of Earl's longtime girlfriend Shannon. A beautiful blonde girl, Shannon worked at a diner called the Pinup Paradise where all the waitresses dressed up like old pinup models from the 40's-60's or so. Shannon was at the moment dressed in a short red and white patterned dress that looked like it was from another era. Shannon bent down and smiled as she actually stroked your back. Without knowing what you were doing you felt one of your back paws start shaking uncontrollably due to how good that felt. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you Frank." With that Shannon pulled the all too familiar silver and purple gun out of her purse and took a shot at the sleeping Daisy and Frank. A chirp and a blue flash inspired blackout later Frank came to surround by a small hill of beer bottles. Frank stood up and thanked Shannon, "Thanks a million, I was afraid I was going to have to get used to shitting on the floor." Then looking at his bombshell bodied brother he asked, "So...what's the story here."
"Yeah Shannon, I'm still not quite clear on your reasoning for this." Earl said bitterly referring to his new body.
"Well, this lazy bum that I call my boyfriend came to me in the middle of happy hour and told me he had this crazy device that would make us rich. I asked how and he didn't know exactly how but told me it swapped heads. He told me he swapped you with a dog. He started ranting random things about how this was going to make us rich without having to do any work but not giving any real plan. I was starting to get a little bit miffed and then I got set off when I caught Earl looking at my good friend Vickie's ass. I may have overreacted, and after accidentally messing with a knob or two I shot him and Vickie to test the device. And sure enough as you can see, it worked."
"And then some, damn my feet are killing me." Earl fell back on Frank's couch and kicked off the pair of heels that Frank just noticed Earl was wearing.
"I was just getting to that," Shannon continued, "It turns out that the knobs or buttons I hit actually not only swapped Vickie's body with Earl's, it also swapped their jobs. So now Vickie is back at her house with Earl's body and nothing to do while Earl..."
"Just worked his ass off shilling coffee and burgers to perverts who kept looking at my ass."
"At least it's a cute ass." Shannon said winking at Earl, but he was too annoyed to notice it.
Frank began to laugh, "So Earl, you left here intending to get rich quick and you ended up with a job. Not exactly what you wanted, but it's a productive day for you."
"See, that's exactly my thought process." Shannon said excitedly, "I'm sorry you don't have your body but you have a job and after over a year of not having a job this is probably going to be good for you."
"Good for me? I'll show you what's good for me, give me the Head Swapping Gun, I'll swap with a fucking CEO or something and make real money with a body of my choosing."
Shannon put the gun away into her purse, "No way, you have no experience with that sort of thing. And while for some reason I love you, I'm not letting you take the job of someone with power. You can live with being a waitress for a while. You can do that with no experience and at worst you screw up an order. If you screw something up as a CEO and let's face it you would, thousands of people could lose their jobs."
"But I'd have a golden parachute and never have to work again ouch!" Shannon had actually given Earl a quick punch to his skinny arm. "Earl, it's horrible that you'd say something like that, you need to learn to respect the working class. That's another reason I think being a waitress is going to be good for you. Maybe after a few months of waiting tables you'll respect blue collar workers and maybe we can look for a white color body and job to swap you into."
Earl stood up and Frank was amused at how his brother now only stood up to his chest, "A few months!? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"No, I'm not, I'm tired of being the only one in this relationship doing real work, now you will too. And speaking of jobs..." Shannon turned to Frank. "You might be even worse than Earl when it comes to getting work. I'm not in a relationship with you so I can't make you get a job, but I can bet if you wanted to work with us the the Pinup Paradise you could have a good experience. You can even try it for a little while and swap out if you don't like it."
"Why does he get a choice in the matter?"
"Because I'm not sleeping with him and if you keep bitching you won't either," Shannon snapped at Earl. She didn't get like this often but both Frank and Earl knew to not mess with her now. "Now Frank it's up to you, but I've got a day off tomorrow, I can go around town with you to find a job and body you might feel more comfortable with. What do you say?"
Frank knew that Shannon wasn't going to let him scheme his way to riches like Earl had hoped, but Frank didn't hate the idea of actual hard labor that much...for now. But then again looking at his daughter's dog a thought popped up. If he swapped 'careers' with Daisy, maybe, just maybe his daughter wouldn't hate him. He could get to know her better and maybe he could try to make her hate him less and actually build a relationship. Hell who knows, maybe if she viewed him as a pet he could actually get along with his ex wife. It was a weird idea. It was a crazy idea. But that crazy little gun might be his last chance at having his family not hate him.
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