[Suggested music - Mario Party 2 - Bowser's Theme - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aW1ocqS... ]
Far off in the distance lay the big leagues - the REAL big leagues, making the princesses look like shrimps. Guys who build whole empires littered with coins on the streets, waiting for Wario to snatch them up. Big shots seated way-too-comfortably in thrones, doing nothing but kidnapping people.
The Koopa King, Bowser, probably hid some hefty sums in that new fortress of his, "Another Castle". No doubt, it was loaded with all sorts of things to maim, burn, and squash pesky plumbers coming in; but the thief couldn't remember the last time he did plumbing.
For a moment, the yellow-capped man rested a sausage-like finger on his chin. Was it really okay for him to steal from the big turtle? He was a major jerk, a big brute, and had a pea-sized brain within a kingdom-sized swollen head; but Bowser was even worse. They both hated red guys foiling their plans. And the ruler was actually a real help with Wario and Waluigi's tennis swings. Heck, they hadn't had a real fight together since the whole thing with the Power Stars...
...Power Stars. If Bowser had Power Stars, that changed everything! Those things could go for millions in Rogueport markets - or pay a princess' ransom for Mario to buy back! As the anti-hero imagined the look on Mario's face when he entered the star's holding area, only to find someone beat him to the punch... pools of drool piled up around his feet.
Of course, if he wanted to avoid some temper tantrums, he might have an easier time at one of King Boo's mansions. If he could find some paranormal hotspot, the old haunt would be packed with riches for him to suck up. Packed with cobwebs, too, granted. But what's the problem with a little bit of a rustic, homey atmosphere? Heck, the old house Wario just left wasn't up to standards. Maybe, if he was ambitious, the adventurer in yellow could kick all the ghosts out, and keep a snazzy new home for himself and Waluigi!
...Scratch that: keep a snazzy new home for himself!
Now, intruders could end up getting spooked; but at the very least, King Boo wasn't on guard protecting a kidnapped princess. The large-boned swindler chortled as he turned shrunk himself with the machine. Kidnapping princesses - why bother? Such a pain to keep them in place. Wario only tried that once, and he outsourced the job. There were far more important things in life to attain than gals. Give him a Power Star or a few bundles of ghostly bills, and he'd be happy never seeing a princess for years.
Unbeknownst to him, something had gone seriously wrong in the happy-go-lucky world of Nintendo. The discovery of a new, mysterious powerup, the Super Crown, stumbled scientists: anyone who wore it became a fair young women, not unlike Princess Peach. Eager to wield its awe-inspiring meme magic, the most feared tyrants of the Mushroom Kingdom's environs found themselves with the crown in their hands; and not seconds later, gaining human forms, large curves, and costumes matching their old appearance. Strange creatures - "Bowsette", "Booette", and more - lurked in wait, trying to make sense of their states.
Wario was about to run into more princesses than he bargained for, as he fired directly for...  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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