I thought back to what the doctor had said... “This is a one time procedure, the body you’re given is the one you’re going to have for the rest of your life.” At the time, I’d thought nothing of it but now I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I’m a fucking girl.
Well, might as well get introduced to myself. I decided to start my investigation from the room. I opened the door on which the mirror was hanging and felt my jaw hang open. Who fucking needs a closet this big? Me, apparently. I entered the closet and stared at racks upon racks of clothes, some even had tags on them. The shoe collection took half a wall. As I stared at a pair of ridiculously high pair of heels, I realized something. I’m so fucked.
After taking a shower in which I spent a ridiculous amount of time touching my tits- I’ve always been a boobs man, and my pussy, I had breakfast. Get this, this woman is an health nut. Every goddamn thing in her, well, my fridge was low fat shit. In other words, tasteless and boring. I ransacked the fridge until I found one small tub of chocolate ice cream. And that is what I ate, as breakfast. I had to go to a grocery store immediately. I searched the house until I found her wallet. I then discovered that my name was Ava Gregory. Hmm, nice name. I was 23 years old and according to google, a fitness trainer. Not surprised at all. I was also pretty rich, judging by my clean, contemporary condo and a BMW key fob I found on the kitchen island. As I was about to open my Facebook page, I received a call from ‘ Jessbabexoxoloveemojiloveemoji’. The fuck happened to plain ol’ Jess? I picked the call and the first thing she said was “Hey chica, you ready yet? Don’t forget you’re doing my makeup so you gotta get your ass down here in fifteen minutes if you don’t want us to be late. Lina and Emma are gonna meet us there”
Uhh, say what now? Ready for what? Who the fuck are Lina and Emma? And most importantly, I don’t know how to use makeup! Okay, calm down. You’ve watched enough movies and had enough girlfriends to know how to act like a woman. I cleared my throat, took a deep breath and spoke.
“Hey Jess, I’m almost ready. Course I didn’t forget I’m doing your makeup” Wow.. I did it! I totally sounded like a girl right now. I did a little victory jig.
“Good. Wait, why the fuck didn’t you tell me you’d gotten back with Jason? Had to hear it from Lina. And what are you gonna do about Will? You guys were just getting serious, right? You know what, hold the gist. You’re gonna tell me everything when you get here. Don’t be late.” She hung up.
I stared at the phone for a few minutes while I suppressed the sudden urge to cry. Why? Why couldn’t I take the body of a normal woman who had no boyfriend, ate normal food, didn’t store numbers with a lot of emojis and didn’t use makeup? I had a pity-party for all of five minutes before I sucked it up. You can do this. You didn’t play Romeo in high school for nothing. You can act like a goddamn woman and make it believable.
Psyched up from my pep-talk, I ran into my room, entered the closet and stopped short. Now, what the fuck do I wear? As I turned around, the clothes blurred together, making me dizzy. Holy shit, this is harder than I thought. I sat down on the carpet in the closet and contemplated my dilemma. Dude, think. What outfit do women always wear? Hell, think of the last woman you picked up? What was she wearing when you approached her?
A wide smile pulled my lips as the idea formed in my head. Jeans. I can never go wrong with jeans. I stood up and rushed to the jeans section. A ten second perusal turned my smile into a frown. There were at least fifty pairs of Jeans in different colors and stages of bedazzling. I decided to choose one at random and I ended up wearing a deep blue skinny jean. Great, now a blouse. I was lucky to find a camisole/leather jacket combo so I put that on. At the shoes section, I didn’t even bother to check the heels, no way am I willingly subjecting myself to those deathtraps. I put on a pair of sneakers and checked my outfit in the mirror. Damn, I’m fucking hot. I gave myself a thumbs up and strutted out of the closet. A look at the vanity brought me up short. Makeup. Well, I could always tell Jess I wanted to get there early so I decided to forgo using makeup.
One Last good look in the mirror at my sexy new body.... There she was.....