Since her feast of eggs this morning, which was all of maybe two hours ago, the woman had farted 32 times. And Jesse knew this because she had insisted on showing him, and making his smell them, each and every time she had to pass gas. It was like a badly drawn comic strip, she would burst in wherever Jesse was, his room, kitchen, living room, even the bathroom and ask I he wanted to see her fart. “Hey Jesse want to watch how a PHAT Girl passes gas?”
And each time he would tell her no, “Not really Aunt Kelly it’s kind of gross.”
“Such a kidder,” she’d ignore what Jesse would say, as if she was practicing willful ignorance. Maybe she was. “Like a PHAT girl wouldn’t want to see another PHAT girl rip a fart! And then smell it with her!” And that’s when she would the flatulence fly.
BBBBRRRRRBBBBBTTTHHHPPPTTTT!
She would then grab Jesse by the side of the face and press the other side cheek to cheek with her, “Smell it Jasmine! Take it in! Smell what PHAT girls should smell like!” She would then take a deep breath and breathe it out almost like she was getting sexual pleasure form it. Maybe she was. “Ahhhhh! That’s a good brand of fart!” She would then laugh and bid Jesse goodbye until the next time.
And she had done this 32 times in two hours. Two hours. Two hours!
The woman was getting gassier and she didn’t seem to be noticing. But, maybe she was. Kelly was the type of woman who delighted in a good fart breeze tickling her vagina lips, so maybe she din notice she was getting a bad case of the windy toots. Maybe she didn’t care.
“Hey Jasmine guess whose got another one loaded in the chamber?” Kelly’ smiling face appeared in his bedroom door.
“Aunt Kelly don’t you think it’s weird that you have to fart so much today? You’ve been letting rippers go non-stop since breakfast!”
“Third breakfast!”
“Third breakfast,” he rolled his eyes. “ANYWAY, don’t you think it’s strange you have so much gas all of a sudden?”
“Of course, but who cares? The more you fart, the more PHAT you are!” She told him triumphantly before letting out a bomb that many would have claimed constituted a chemical warfare attack. She visibly shook in pleasure as the gas gushed out from her like a tidal wave of water escaping a recently destroyed dam.
“Damn that stinks!” Jesse grabbed his nose and recoiled in horror and jumped away from the encroaching stink. He couldn’t help and let out a little fart himself.
“Oh, Jasmine wants to be PHAT like her Aunt Kelly!” Kelly cooed. She then grabbed Jesse’s head and smashed it into her own so they were cheek to cheek sniffing their combining fart smell. “Take a deep whiff Jasmine, drink it in through your nostrils! That PHAT girl funk! We are stinky divas!” After downing her own fart fumes and breathing out in state of ecstasy Kelly let go of her nephew’s head. “That was some good shit.”
“I think you need to see a doctor, that’s now 33 farts in two hours.”
“Well I see you for 34,” she smiled before basically skipping away with a flurry of farts.
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