“...Erm...”
Megan shrugged her shoulders warily. She squealed impishly as Kelly lunged for her throat, the onslaught of violence she was going to release onto Megan halted by Lindsay grabbing Kelly into an adorable little bundle of malicious rage. “You’re lucky that I’m doing this for you,” Lindsay grunted through gritted teeth as Kelly writhed, “I’ve half a mind to batter you as well.” Megan nodded empathetically from behind the frame of the fold-out bed. Kelly proceeded to offload a flurry of curses, mostly in English but with a few Mandarin slurs that would’ve made her parents wince, but her struggles to escape Lindsay’s clutches were futile. Eventually she’d tired herself out and Lindsay had set her down.
She grabbed her raggedy bobble hat from her bed and begrudgingly stuffed it atop her cranium before crossing her arms angrily as she felt the rough material scratch her scalp. Megan meanwhile had scuttled out from her hiding place and was now standing repentantly in front of her bandmates. She curled her toes anxiously as she said, “Guys, honestly I’m sorry for experimenting on you. I mean, I just had the CRAZIEST dream and...”
“Yeah, we know you had a dream,” Kelly interjected, “But what the f*ck does that have to do with me waking up looking like a f*cking monk?!” Lindsay burst out with an impromptu howl of laughter that made Megan bite her lip to try and maintain her composure. Kelly shot Lindsay a murderous look. “Not that there’s anything wrong with the way you look,” the tall blonde recanted, “You make bald work.” Megan knew Lindsay was just trying to spare her friend’s feelings and was slightly surprised when Kelly’s checks flushed slightly.
“Really?”
“...Yeah, really. Isn’t that right Megan?” Megan nodded vigorously. Kelly looked straight through the artificial smile and groaned. She flashed in front of Megan and grabbed the pink straps of the bra she’d borrowed from Lindsay (unintentionally eliciting a quiet moan from Megan as her new nipples were pushed against the tight fabric) and pulled Megan’s face closer to her own. “Fix. It,” she whispered menacingly. “Now.”
Megan sighed. “Fine, I’ll try and reverse what I just did.“ Buzzkills, she thought as she first focused on her buxom new assets. ‘I’ll miss you girlies,’ she whimpered as she copped one last feel. Slowly but surely the breast tissue on her chest deflated, the mole on the skin folding in on itself as Megan’s original bust returned to their original unimpressive size. Lindsay uncharacteristically hugged her mammaries much to Megan’s envy. “Oh God, I’ve never been so happy to have these pups before,” she mused. Kelly filled her eyes as she stepped forward and took off the bobble hat. Megan harrumphed but nonetheless attempted to return Kelly’s unkempt locks.
She tried to summon the same power she’d used to re-exchange her‘s and Lindsay’s busts but there was a strange resistance- no, not resistance, a distinct lack of cooperation. Where she’d at least been able to sense Lindsay’s trait during the swap there was no trace of Kelly’s hair to be found. A single bead of sweat trickled down Megan’s forehead. Kelly, who’d had her eyes closed in anticipation, began to worry. After all, Lindsay’s swap had been almost instantaneous.
“Er, Megs,” Kelly said apprehensively. Her fingers drummed nervously on her thigh. “I swear to God, you shǎ bī, if you’re f*cking screwing with me...”
“Gee Kelly, shut the f*ck up will you! I’m trying my hardest to concentrate! God!” Megan pressed her index to her temple- why she thought that would work, I can’t tell you- and squeezed her brows together tightly. A blood vessel on her forehead bulged dangerously as her head began vibrating from side to side. She finally exhaled after a few moments, collapsing onto the floor before sputtering our loudly. Kelly quickly rushed to her side. “Are you okay?” she asked as Megan took in deep breaths. Megan nodded feebly in response. “Good,” Kelly said before slapping Megan cleanly across the face, her petite hand imprinted onto the noirette’s pale cheek.
“What the f*ck, Kelly!” Lindsay and Megan said together.
“If you haven’t noticed, I’m still. F*cking. BALD.”
“Of course I f*cking noticed slag, I’m the one that’s trying to bloody help you out! God, that f*cking kills!” Megan nursed her bruised face before continuing, “Geez Kelly, tone the f*ck down. I’m sorry to say this and please don’t kill me, but I can’t find your hair anywhere. It’s gone.” Kelly’s face screwed up. Her eyes began to water slightly but her eyes were beginning to fill with rage. “Wait, what the hell do you mean ’gone’?”
“Disappeared, kaput, vanished,” Lindsay chimed in.
“...Thank you Lindsay for the extraneous description. Look Kelly, I’m so sorry because I don’t know what to tell you but I can’t give you your hair back. But I can give you any hair you want. Huh, what about it? You always rave about how classy Gemma Chan looks when we rewatch Humans.”
“...Her hair does look pretty sexy...”
“Exactly. Look, You can get any look or style you want. I bet if we look out the window and check for any donors, we’ll find more than enough...” Megan peeked her heart out of the window and was largely disappointed as she saw the quiet streets down below with no sign of human life excluding the occasional speeding car going past. ‘Screw this uneventful suburban cul-de-sac, she thought to herself. The only person in sight was one of those insufferable online e-boys in baggy clothes enacting a TikTok video at the bus stop on the street. His age was indiscernible from Megan’s window but the basic middle-parted curtain on his head was clear as day.
‘I’m sure he won’t mind,’ Megan giggled to herself as she watched the boy’s hair quickly retract into his scalp. Like her bandmates the boy seemed to have retained his memory of his hair and he frantically rubbed his now shaven head before grabbing his phone and running back home. Behind her she heard a familiar screech accompanied by perplexed Mandarin phrases. She swivelled round and grinned as Kelly pawed with her dark new strands, her face set in perplexed horror. “Oh God, I look like a f*ckboy.”
Megan and Lindsay tried to restrain their laughter. Lindsay wrapped her friend into a tight bear hug and soothed her while Megan cheekily replied, “I think the correct term is ’e-boy’.” Both girls stifled their giggles as Kelly ran to check herself out in the mirror. “F*cking he’ll, what the f*ck Megan! God, my mum’s bowl-cuts in Year 5 were better than this!“ Megan and Lindsay went to either side of their friend and stroked her back affectionately. “C’mon Kels,” Lindsay said in between giggles, “It could’ve been a lot worse in retrospect. We’ve got that gig tonight and funny hair is better than weird hair.”
“Tell you what, I was planning on going to the shopping centre to grab some breakfast and some drumming supplies. Maybe you and Megs can tag along and go shopping for new hairstyles. Alright?” Kelly sniffled but nodded her head nonetheless. She tilted her head so that she’d rested completely on Lindsay’s chest. “Aw, what about me,” Megan moaned sarcastically. She burst out with laughter as Kelly stuck up her middle finger in response. “Fair enough, you ungrateful bastard. I’m gonna have a shower before we leave- this might be the last time I see some of my attributes.”
She grinned wildly as she patted Kelly on the head and ducked into the shower. A sly grin had plastered onto Megan’s face as the water ran down her body. This trip was definitely going to be eventful, that was for sure.