"...and then the next thing I know I'm flat on my back!" Evan said to Jake over the phone. He readjusted the ice pack on his face. "God, that lady had a hell of a right hook."
"Ouch. You doing okay?" Jake asked.
"Yeah, just a bruised ego. And a bruised eye. But seriously, that's the 15th fur I've asked and all I've gotten was either a 'no' or a 'hell no'. I don't think you'll find anyone here who'll take you up on the diet thing."
Jake sighed audibly into the phone. "Alright. Well, I have a back-up plan. Swing by my place tomorrow, and I'll explain then..."
***
As Evan opened the door to Jake's apartment, his nose with hit with a cacophony of delicious, mouthwatering odors. Stacked all over Jake's apartment were loads and loads of takeout containers from restaurants all over town. From what Evan had seen, it was an impossible amount of food even for two healthy furs like him and Jake to devour.
"Evan! Come in! Hope you're hungry!" Jake gestured for the lion, patting a paw next to him on the sofa.
"Finally having another cheat day?" Evan asked, sitting down on the couch. An enormous pizza sat in the coffee table in front of him.
"Nope." Jake replied. Again, he was shirtless, showing off his amazing physique. Only a loose pair of shorts covered him at all. He reached over and opened the pizza box. It unleashed a wave of smells of cooked meat and melted cheese. "Bon appetit."
Cautiously, Evan reached for a greasy slice and started munching. "So, just what are you planning now?" he asked.
"Get this: If we can't find a fat fur to slim down, we'll make one..."
The cream-colored lion swallowed a hunk of the pizza. "Uh-oh...is this why..."
"It's a foolproof plan! We get you all big and fat, then I'll help you get skinny again! You'll be even fitter than before! Skinny to fat to abs! It'll be great!" Jake was excitedly bouncing up and down on the couch. "I talked to Miranda about it and she thinks it's a great plan!"
Evan shoved the rest of the slice into his mouth. "I dunno. I mean, I'm not sure about putting on a bunch of weight..."
Jake reached out a paw and patted Evan's sprouting belly. "I don't think you'll have a lot of choice in the matter as it is..."
Evan could feel his cheeks burn bright red. "...how big?" he asked meekly.
"Well, I mean, the bigger you get the more impressive the loss will be. And considering ju-"
"Just tell me how big you want me." Evan interjected.
"...around 500 pounds?"
The cream-colored lion nearly choked on his second slice of pizza. "God! That's absolutely massive!"
"Not really. Have you not seen the size of the furs in this town?" asked Jake.
"It's massive for me! That'll be tripling my weight almost!"
"Yeah, but I'm sure you'll enjoy the ride," replied Jake. "You already love eating, clearly. Why not make a few million bucks off of it?"
Evan once again almost choked on his pizza. "A few million dollars?!?"
"Miranda did some back of the envelope math and think that's the cut you can make."
"Damn, with that money I'd be set for life..."
"Well, what do you say, fatty? I mean, it sounds like it'll be easier than finding a willing fat ass in this town."
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