Chapter #5Going To College by: Oji   Normally, Elephants don’t really have to worry about becoming prey for an average pred. Standing a full head taller than a Grizzly and beating even most sharks in height, only the Orca, Great White Shark and vanishingly rare dinosaur and mythical anthros are both carnivorous and larger than the Elephant. Not to mention the sheer girth of the Elephant that made the average healthy weight of the largest land mammal fully 5 times what most Wolves and Humans weigh or a couple dozen times what rodents like Rats or Mice might weight.
Unfortunately, this makes Elephants a truly rare delicacy that those few extremely large or especially voracious preds who can stomach so much meat dearly love. And you are an absolute runt that the average pred could potentially manage! Your still big by human standards, standing 6’6” and weighing just over 300 pounds. But that puts you a head shorter than the average Grizzly with a huge host of potential preds that most Elephants never need fear. Wolves, Lions, Jaguars, Panthers and Tigers could all prey on you if they wanted.
Your grandmother, the matriarch of the herd as you still thought of your extended family that lived in the same specially made apartment complex, hadn’t wanted you to leave yet. If she’d had her way, you’d have been even with your mother’s 8’ even before leaving. But you couldn’t control yourself anymore.
A young bull Elephant, your instincts demanded that you exercise full freedom and take control of your life. Which led to endless fighting with the hierarchy of the herd until finally they decided you had to go. They were nice about it, sending you to college for free and packing you up, but you knew what this was. It was the boot from the herd.
Your grandmother did have some last advice for you before you left though. “Jeremy,” the elderly matriarch began. “You have to be careful in this cruel world, and protect yourself.”
You nod, rolling your eyes. “I know that Grandma. If someone wants to eat me the law gives me the right to resist with anything short of lethal force. Isn’t that why you taught me so many ways to knock out a pred?”
Your grandmother smiles. “That will keep you safe from the short term pred who simply tries to gulp you down on sight. But what is far more insidious is the girls who play a longer game. If you give your heart to a girl who thinks with her stomach that’s where you will find yourself sooner or later.”
That did not sound like advice you wanted to hear. If it weren’t for the fact that it fairly clearly could save your life someday you’d have walked out rather than listen to this annoying garbage. “And I bet you’ve got some kind of sage advice for how to tell which girls think with their stomachs?” You challenge, beyond ready to get out of here.
Your grandmother nods, smiling slightly. She sat down so that she’d be looking up into your eyes instead of looking down on you, taking your hands to grasp your attention fully. “I do. Two ways, neither perfect alone, but both solid and nearly perfect together.”
“The first is to pay attention to her species. Herbivores like Zebras, Giraffes and most Whales are rarely preds. Omnivores like Gorillas, Bears and such are twice as likely to be preds and carnivores like Lions are ten times as likely. It’s simple instinct. The second is her weight. A fat girl eats a lot, and the chances that includes prey are rather high. Chubby girls probably aren’t ruled by their stomachs, but some exercise to cut weight gain as much as possible to keep from scaring off prey. But skinny girls almost certainly are not vicious preds because there’s simply no way to eat prey every week and stay thin. Nobody has a metabolism that good.”
You couldn’t really argue with the advise, and rolled your eyes. “Don’t worry Grandma. I don’t plan on being what rips some fatass’s pants.” Despite your assurance to her, you know full well that you wouldn’t follow both guidelines strictly. It was obvious to stay away from the fat carnivore, but you refused to be limited to scrawny herbivores. Thin carnivores and thick herbivores would both get your attention, as would chubby omnivores...
Okay, maybe not chubby omnivores. Two maybes is a lot more dangerous than one solid no. This might take some more thought after all.
Eventually you made it to campus, long since having grown frustrated trying to figure out what to do when neither extreme was present and setting up your room in high bad humor. Which only got worse when you saw your roommate.
He introduced himself as Harry, and you couldn’t help thinking his parents must have had a sense of humor. You’d never seen someone with so much hair! Every inch of the enormous Sea Otter’s 5’3” 500 pound frame was covered in thick, thick hair so that you couldn’t see his skin to save your life.
Even worse, the marine rodent clearly had someone’s remains in his stomach, and you could feel him eyeing you for a possible meal. You figured immediately that it would be a good idea to remind the punk that size alone wasn’t the only reason that Elephants were rarely prey for others. Another reason is an incredible degree of strength that made Elephants kings of physical strength among prey.
So you grab him by his neck and pin him against the wall, forcing him up off of the floor in spite of his weight. When his eyes are level with your own you give him a deep glare. “Don’t get any funny ideas Harry. I’m stronger than you.” It was half bluff, but you’d already proven it was only half.
Preds inevitably were much stronger than prey, but the gap wasn’t always absolute. Each species had their own advantages over others. If Harry were to try to eat you in the pool you’d be practically defenseless against his ability to hunt in the water. But if it were a contest of pure muscle? You could handle that much, especially when you were as pissed as you were right now.
The threat worked like a charm though, and you see fear in his eyes. The idiot probably thinks your a pred yourself. You drop him and the heavy thud almost makes you wince as Harry lands on his immense butt. Then you turn away to find somewhere to blow some steam and find some chicks. Maybe spend the night with one and lose the V card that the herd had made it impossible to get rid of.
You do some looking around, eventually finding a good hangout with great music and gorgeous gals. Checking out the place and the selection you see several excellent picks, but you hold off. You want to find the perfect woman for tonight.
And then, hearing the door open and turning to look, you found her. The cheetah girl was an absolute knockout. She was 5’5” wearing a black outfit that called complete attention to her slender figure and hypnotic spots. You doubted that she weighed more than 100 pounds, but she carried herself with such grace that it awed you. Then she looked in your direction, and smiled.
Busted for staring! Damn. Now you had to make a move. For a moment you hear your grandmother saying that carnivore species are far more likely to be preds, but just look at this girl! She’s clearly never swallowed a prey in her life! It will be fine.
You make your way over to her and strike up a conversation. She introduces herself as Victoria, and soon proves both witty and smart. As you chat she keeps giving you this look that sends shivers down your spine, a look that says that she is hungry for something.
(Alright, I admit I took some liberties with the whole “prey weaker than the pred” thing. Here’s the thing, Jeremy the Elephant here is strong enough to bring Victoria other prey, but he is too slow for facing a Cheetah. When Victoria decides to eat him she’s able to dodge every one of his haymakers and then to gulp him when he’s exhausted. The balance of power between them is just barely enough that Victoria doesn’t feel like fighting him into her belly as long as he’s bringing her plenty of other prey. But if he lets her starve or pisses her off there’s a lot she can do about it, including eating him.)  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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