It was… a country album. God, it might be the country album.
A cobalt blue sky stretched across the landscape of the CD, the field of grain and cherry red barn completing the assembly of primary colors. The brown moonshine jug in the foreground shattered that aesthetic to pieces, along with the title — you had to stifle a giggling fit, lest it undo you — ‘Jean Shorts and Dirt Roads’, in a black blotchy-paint-font.
You didn’t exactly hate country; Johnny Cash was a decent listen, Willie Nelson was alright, and, hell, Marty Robbins scored a good deal of your virtual treks through the Mojave. But songs of the ‘country pop’ genre — as you’ve heard it called — all seem to be about pickup trucks, denim, beer, and barn-adjacent parties. Judging by its art, this album seemed to be of the latter variety.
Your feet travel towards your computer half-automatically. Morbid fascination thrums through your body like electricity. You have to see what this album is like.
You plop down in your computer chair and open the disc drive on your PC, catching the name on the disc: ‘Brandi Staxx’. God, this is going to be wonderful.
You do some cursory Googling while the disc whirls to life in your tower. But, confusingly enough, you can’t turn up any results for the album. You turn up a few near-misses for the name, but they all belong to adult film stars or strippers. Figures.
“Must be a debut.” you mutter to yourself. But curiously enough, the record label doesn’t even seem to exist. How could that be?
An Explorer window pops up with the disc’s data, as if to interrupt your thoughts. You nearly bust a gut at the song titles: ‘Nothin’ Hotter Than A Farmer’s Daughter,’ and ‘Rollin’ Around in the Harvested Hay’ being two particular highlights.
You hurriedly start the transfer of your songs to your iPhone. This’d be great to show the guys.
You snag your phone after a few seconds of data transfer, ready to listen to some absolute dreck, but you’re stopped by…
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