Rubber? What the fuck? Where…where was this? Your entire body hurt as you struggled to climb back to your feet, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. The thick rubber floor you’d apparently passed out on was completely alien to you; the last thing you remembered was…what the hell was the last thing you remembered? Your head ached. Maybe head trauma? Just your fucking luck. Clambering upright, you tried getting a better look at where you were, but your head was having trouble processing what your eyes were seeing. You were in a…room? What kind of room was this fucking big though?! Were you drugged?! Stepping backwards, you tripped over your own feet and found yourself tumbling head-over-heels down an incline until you slid to a stop under a thick black archway. Aching, you squinted up at the arch and saw something written on the underside that made your stomach sink. “Nine point five? What the hell does ‘nine point five’ mean?” you groaned….
BABOOOOM….
What?
BABOOOOOOOM….
The?
BABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM….
Fuck?!
You must have been dreaming. There was no other way to explain what your eyes were trying to tell you…people could be tall, but no one was THAT tall. Godzilla was a fucking movie, not a documentary series! But there she was…a woman with pale skin, long black hair that was frizzy, and dressed in just a baggy black shirt and a pair of red short-shorts that her ass-crack was eating. Oh. And socks. She was wearing tight, neon-green ankle socks that slowly rose, covering the entrance to your cave and answering the riddle you’d woken up with: you weren’t trapped in a room, you were trapped in a shoe. Leanna’s slides to be exact. Her right shoe, that her sock-clad foot was about to shove itself into like a gopher returning to its comfortable burrow….
“Fuck!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, flipping onto your stomach as you started clawing against the insole, trying to make some distance deeper into the slides to prevent yourself from getting caught under the invading foot. You looked over your shoulder and saw that the material was stretched tightly over this woman’s foot, her long toes and well-shaped nails pressing against the fabric so much that you can see the curve of her digits. Each one of the toes was easily taller than you, and even with some slight sock fabric between you and them, you were positive that her nails alone would have been able to slide you in half…if her toes didn’t pound you into paste first. You felt the ground under you shake violently as you knew her toes had made contact with the very edge of her slides. The air rumbled with her socks dragging against the rough, worn insole as she does what these shoes were designed to do…even if this were a dream, getting run over by toes larger than houses was not the way you wanted to wake up as this woman began to slip on her slides.
GRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN….
Forcing yourself back to your feet, you tried pushing off the insole only to feel it slightly shift under you like Astroturf. You tripped. Face slamming into the worn insole, you inhaled the scent of old shoe and sweat from hundreds of walks, coughing as the thick, heavy aroma seemed to weigh down your lungs.
You grunted, trying to get back to your feet as you felt a wave of heat getting closer to you from behind. The temperature in the cavernous shoe was quickly realizing as you realized her toes must have been getting closer. If you looked back over your shoulder again, you’d have seen that the toes were now within a couple yards…and moving faster than you. This time, you accounted for the pliable ground as you took off sprinting, forcing yourself further into the humid, aromatic darkness of the massive slides. You could feel the ground under you slowly shifting, lowering as you unknowingly sprinted down the imprint of a massive arch into the canyon left by the ball of a foot bigger than anything you’d ever witnessed. Arms pumping and lungs burning, you thought for a moment that you might be home free…and tripped over your own feet….
THUD…GRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN……
The wall of neon-green fabric continued pushing in closer. You clawed at the insole, feeling the slightly damp fabric against your fingertips as you tried to pull yourself up…but this time something slammed down onto your back. A warm, heavy wall of warm fabric swallowed you up like a street-sweeper gobbling up litter on the road. Rolled under the green mesh of fabric, you tried to scream, but the pressure on your lungs was too much. Your bones felt like they might fail…but the mass of heavy fabric and flesh kept pushing forward, rolling you underneath as it all seemed to come to a halt. Your body hurt all over from the rolling as you were convinced this wasn’t a dream. This was real…and you were really stuck underneath the net of fabric in the small arch under the tremendous toes that had run you over.
You could feel the world shudder…pressure grew greater…and Leanna lifted her foot….