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by Clide Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Interactive · Comedy · #2225529
This is the story about of a day in the life of a gassy 11-year-old tomboy named "Stinky."
This choice: Balloon Belly Burger - she was still hungry after breakfast  •  Go Back...
Chapter #3

Balloon Belly Burger

    by: Clide Author IconMail Icon
As Stinky stood and contemplated where she wanted to go, she felt a mild grumbling in her stomach.

Man... I'm still kinda hungry, Stinky thought.

The eggs and bacon Stinky's mother had made, while very good, didn't leave Stinky feeling entirely full. After feeling around in the pockets of her jacket, she noticed she still had some money left over from her allowance. That's when the thought crossed her mind;

Hmm. Hopefully BB has something cheap. They're stuff usually tastes great too!

That was when Stinky settled on having herself a second breakfast over at Balloon Belly Burger - a local burger diner that also happened to be her favorite place to eat. The diner got it's name as a result of its slogan - "Eatin' Here's A Gas!" The idea being that the restaurant prided itself on serving you food so good that it would give you gas, hence making your stomach feel like a balloon.

Stinky personally thought it was clever, given how she already felt about her own flatulence, but that didn't mean everybody else in town felt the same way - while her parents would often take her there for lunch when she was very little, her mother made it clear that she wasn't a fan of the establishment's "attitude." To her, Balloon Belly Burger reminded her of those Heart Attack Diners that would advertise their menus with extremely-high calorie meals that encouraged a particularly gluttonous attitude, and also sport what she found to be rather tasteless marketing.

Perhaps it was because Stinky herself was somewhat of a glutton that she found the idea of places like Balloon Belly to be so appealing, as opposed to her mother. It also didn't help that Stinky was already a rather gassy girl, so a place that prides itself on giving you gas was right up her alley.

The diner itself was heavily inspired by the aesthetics of diners from the 1980's, with architecture and decorations similar to one from the time. There was a large sign on the roof of the diner in the shape of a hot air balloon that had the name of the diner sprawled across it. Stinky always felt that the use of a "hot air" balloon for the place was clever. At night, all the neon on the sign and the rest of the restaurant would light up, so long as it was still open.

Luckily for Stinky, she arrived just as the diner had opened - The diner was open from 7:30am - 9:30pm everyday. One thing she noticed on the front door was a sign that read "New Breakfast Menu!" and couldn't help but feel giddy.

Great, they have new stuff! she thought excitedly. Good a time as any to try something out.

Stinky was greeted by the short chime of a bell that rang as she opened the door. Seeing as how the diner had just opened, it was completely empty, save for Stinky herself, and the head waitress. The waitress then greeted Stinky with a hearty welcome.

"Well, good morning there, Stinky girl! How you doin' this fine morning?"

"Hey, Mama Beame!" Stinky replied. "I'm feeling a little--"

Grrrrrruuuuurrrrrrr...

She was interrupted by another grumbling from her stomach, although this one was much more audible than before.

Mama Beame couldn't help but chuckle. "Hmhmhm, I can see you're feeling rather famished. Or, I guess hear would be better, huh?"

Stinky chuckled and walked up to Mama Beame, who then patted Stinky's stomach and added, "Now anything we can get you cooked up?"

Stinky took a couple steps and proceeded to sit on one of the stools that surrounded the countertop just outside the kitchen area. "Well... what's the cheapest thing you got on your new breakfast menu? I'm only working with about..." Stinky took out the money in her jacket pocket and counted, "about $7."

Mama Beame answered, "Well, the cheapest on our menu is actually $9.99 - but, since our very first customer for the day, I'll give you our Early Bird Discount."

"You just made that up," Stinky laughed.

"Consider it reward for being one of our best regulars," Mama Beame said with a wink.

Stinky and Mama Beame became familiar with each other after Stinky started coming over to the place more and more. Stinky liked the food there so much that Mama Beame couldn't help but spoil Stinky every so often. If there was ever only one thing that gave her pride, it was people who enjoyed her cooking.

Mama Beame was one of the founders of Balloon Belly, and thus did a little bit of everything. She was the head waitress as well as one of the cooks. She was a hard-worker, even if Stinky didn't quite understand that.

"So, what's the cheapest you have for this "Early Bird Discount?" Stinky asked.

"2 slices of ham, eggs, and a side of hashbrowns," Mama Beame answered.

Stinky pumped her fist. "Alright, that's what I'm talking about! I'll take it!"

"You eat this morning already, Stinky?" Mama Beame asked.

"Yeah, Mom made me some eggs and bacon. It was good, but I guess I just wasn't totally full."

"Hmhmhm, you always did have eyes a little bit bigger than your stomach. Thinkin all those eggs might fill you up in more ways than one?"

"Oh, you know it!" Stinky assured, knowing full well what Mama Beame insinuated.

"And what to drink, dear?"

"Uh, do you still serve soda for breakfast?"

"I don't see why we can't! I'll get that all started for ya, deary. Would you like your eggs fried or scrambled?"

"Scrambled, please!"

Mama Beame gave Stinky a wink, then proceeded to the kitchen. Stinky would give her the money after she was done.

While she was waiting, Stinky started shifting around in her seat slightly. Something about the stools felt different. That's when she called out to Mama Beame and asked, "Hey, Mama - you get new cushions?"

Mama Beame called back, "You bet! Glad you noticed - it was Audry's idea. Said it might be more comfortable."

Almost as if on cue, that's when Stinky was greeted by another voice coming from behind her. "Awwwww hey, Stinky!"

Stinky turned in her seat, to be greeted by Audry herself - Audry was Mama Beame's 17-year-old daughter. She and Stinky were very friendly with each other - Stinky almost saw Audry as a big sister of sorts. Audry had auburn-colored hair, freckles across the bridge of her nose, and often wore overalls. Stinky would sometimes tease her by calling her "cow girl" or "farm girl," due to how she looked and her southern accent. Audry would take it in stride, and often fire back with quips of her own. Despite the difference in age, the two girls got along quite well.

"Audry!" Stinky stood up from her seat and gave Audry a big hug. After she finished hugging her, the two bumped their hips together, which they both referred to as "the butt bump." It was their version of a sort of secret handshake.

"Heheheh! How you doin, Stinkbug?" Audry replied.

"I'm doing great! Mama Beame's just making me some breakfast!"

"Sounds like you're in for a treat then!" Audry then looked up and spotted the coffee machine. "I'm gonna make myself some joe - you wanna try one out this time?"

"Bleugh, no..." Stinky said with her tongue out.

Audry giggled. "Yup. Still a little baby girl."

"Hey, it's not my fault coffee tastes gross."

"What do I keep tellin' ya, Stinkbug? Try out 'sum Bullet Coffee, it would change your mind."

"Pass," Stinky replied sharply.

Audry just smiled and shook her head. The two girls then heard Mama Beame call out to Audry, "You want some breakfast, hun?"

"Yes please, Ma! Cream Cheese Omelette!"

"You got it."

Stinky then took a look at Audry's waist, and thought to ask, "So, how have you been doing, Whoopee Cushion Butt?"

Stinky was referencing the fact that Audry had a peculiar ability - like Stinky, she was also a Stinker, able to control her flatulence. But, one thing she had that Stinky didn't was the ability to use that gas to inflate her butt as if it were a balloon. Why or how Audry was able to do this, nobody really knew - it was just something she found out she could do one day. Part of the reason she liked to wear overalls was because this made it so that she wouldn't accidentally have her butt slip out of her pants whenever she inflated it. Once it was inflated, the only way to deflate it was to fart all the air out, similar to a whoopee cushion.

Audry couldn't help but snicker. "I've been doin' just fine, Stinkbug. How about you and your lil' patoot? Any plans for the day?"

"Haven't decided yet - first, I wanna fill up the tank and go from there."

"Sounds like a plan if ya ask me!" Audry said with a smile.

After a few more minutes of the two talking, Mama Beame came out with both of their meals hot and ready.

"Here you are, girls - all I ask is that you both don't stink up the place too much before we get any more customers."

"You got it, Ma," Audry replied.

"No promises!" Stinky joked.

The two had their respective meals - Audry with her cream cheese omelette with a cup of bullet coffee, and Stinky with a plate full of scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and ham coupled with a glass of soda. Stinky in particular was very pleased with her meal.

Mmmmmm, this is so good! Stinky thought. I bet Audry gets stuff like this all the time!

The two had finished their meals at around the same time, and gave each other a knowing look.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinking, Stinkbug?"

"On three?"

"Sure - one..."

"Two..."

The two then let out simultaneous farts.

BRRRRRRrrrrrrrppppppp!
BRRRRRaaaaaaaaaaaa....!


The two then proceeded to chuckle amongst themselves.

"Now girls," Mama Beame said, "what did I say?"

"Oh Ma, c'mon now," Audry answered. "You're always goin' on 'bout how you gotta top off a hearty meal wit' a hearty fart. It's how you know if people even like the food or not."

"I know, but that doesn't mean the customers will like the smell," Mama Beame laughed.

Three shared chuckles amongst themselves. Stinky was now happy, with a stomach full of both food and incoming gas.

"I'm gonna go now - thanks for the food!"

Audry and Mama Beame waved Stinky goodbye.
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