Charlotte grunted as Liam slumped into the seat beside her, his legs splayed wide and his breath stinking of weed and cheap beer. "Get off me, loser," she snapped as she shoved his legs away from her and turned back towards Gemma who was in the midst of giving some long-winded seminar to the rest of the Wilko staff. She'd honestly rather curse out Liam for the rest of eternity than listen to the universally despised HR rep drone on about 'company synchronisation' and 'employee codependence'.
“...Now you must all be wondering 'why is this naggy b*tch waffling so much to me about things I obviously know about as a Wilko employee'." A few sniggers came from the assembled crowd. Gemma took a short moment to giggle at her own joke (something out of the ordinary for someone as tight laced as her) before she continued. "Well, that’s because I’m coming as the bearer of some good and bad news, depending on how you each decide to take the information I’m giving here today.”
"As you may or may not know, there have been a few disagreements higher up in our food chain about how the day to day management of each branch should work. As such there've been new protocols and requirements put in place for all members of management and their employees underneath. The new motto of Wilko is 'Empathy, Understanding and Unity' and..."
- - -
"Urgh, I think I'm going to throw up," Liam murmured under his breath as he idly scratched his balls. As usual no-one acknowledged his comments, not wanting to encourage his lax behaviour any more. He sighed and shook his head in frustration. He turned to his left to relay his sentiments to one of his other coworkers but seeing Charlotte there suddenly formed a lump in his throat. He quickly switched to his right, whispering, "Can you believe any of this bullcrap?".
Allie, who'd been unfortunate enough to find herself seated beside Liam as well, didn't respond either. Had she known he was talking to her she wouldn't have responded anyway. But for now she was too engrossed in sexting her fiancee, Nat, to listen. Though she smiled lustfully as Nat's sultry boob pics came into her message inbox, she couldn't help but feel a tad jealous of her soon-to-be wife's better bod. She shook the thought off and stuck her tongue out as she typed back, 'cant wait to slide the strap-on between those jugs x'.
Meanwhile Natalie leaned in close and shushed Liam angrily. Liam recoiled into his seat and sighed. "No-one in this place listens to me," he grumbled as he tuned back into Gemma's speech.
- - -
"...To help reinforce these radical new changes, some other radical changes need to happen first." Gemma smiled sweetly- again, very disconcerting for all the employees in attendance- and turned towards Emma. “Emma,” she said innocently, “Effective immediately you are no longer the manager of the Rotherham branch.”
Heated whispers began to sound round the room. Emma’s expression curdled as horror began to grip her heart. No longer the manager?! Surely it couldn’t be true! She’d only had a meeting with the bloody suits a week or so backwards where they’d praised her handling of the staff and the exemplary customer service! No, no-no-no, there had to be a mistake.
“You’re joking me, aren’t you?” Emma said delicately, gritting her teeth as she carefully danced through the less than unsatisfactory thoughts running through her head. If it was a joke, Gemma certainly didn’t seem to feel any remorse for saying it. Her smile stayed unflinching on her lips as she continued, “I assure you this is no joke, Emma. But please, do not feel frightened for your position in the company. You’ll be kept on the payroll, albeit at a reduced salary, as an assistant manager in a sort of consultant role until the new manager fully gets to grip with the job.”
"New manager?" Becca blurted from the back.
"Assistant manager?!" Liz shouted in protest.
"Reduced salary?!" Emma cried in anguish.
As the voices in the room began to get louder and louder with every passing second, Emily, who normally liked to remain out of the spotlight, gingerly raised her hand. Gemma noticed and kindly called her to speak, silencing the mob forming by raising her hand. “But who's taking her place then?” she asked meekly.
Emma turned to Gemma with murderous intent in her eyes. She'd been thinking the same thing herself. To add insult to injury, she watched in incredulous disbelief as Gemma shamelessly gestured down to herself.
“You’re looking at ‘em.”
“Y-You?” Emma could hardly believe her ears. “You?! You couldn’t manage a cat into a litterbox! All you do is strut around, with your nose pointed upwards, with your fancy heels, and your fancy fat paycheque, and sneer at us idiots still working on the ground floor of this company! New manager my arse, I'm going above you to complain!”
“Oh please grow up Emma, there’s no need to take such foul language now, I still have more to tell...”
“What more is there to tell, Gemma? That you’re replacing me?! That you may ruin the reputation of the business that I’ve worked so hard to build?!”
Emma held her urge to sock Gemma's stupidly pretty face as her new superior began to chuckle sardonically in amusement. “Well, first off,” she said softly as she crossed her arms behind her back and narrowed the distance between the two of them, coming so close that Emma could feel the rush of spearmint scented breath shooting her way, “I’m not Gemma.”
The room suddenly became silent. Emma's expression changed to bewilderment as Gemma's soft hand stretched out to her. “Michael Fitz, pleasure to meet you."
The gears in Emma's head turned as she stared into Gemma's unblinking eyes. “D-don’t screw around with me, Gemma, I’m not in the mood,” she stuttered.
Gemma (or Michael, as she now wanted to call herself for some inexplicable reason) sighed and tutted patronisingly. “As I told you before, Emma, that’s not me. At least not here,” 'he' said, tapping his temple to emphasise his point. Emma couldn't even muster the words to respond. Her lips flapped like a fish but no sound came out, her brain unable to process the information she was receiving.
“Who did you say you were again?” Rob hollered from the middle row.
Michael grinned and flipped his hair out of his face. “Michael Fitz, Oxford business graduate, top of my class and proud ambassador of the Wilko organisation.” He held his hand out to Emma once more. Emma took one look at it and leered before rolling her eyes. ‘Michael’ nodded knowingly, retracting his hand but nonetheless keeping that giddy grin across his face. “No worries, I can understand you giving me the ‘cold shoulder’ right now. I mean, I’d do the same if some random dude came and took my job without warning, all whilst wearing the face of a woman that I hated.”
“I don’t hate you, Gemma!”
“Michael.”
“Whatever. We just...had differences in opinion sometimes.”
Michael rolled his eyes. “Sure... Either way, that was in the past. Some of you may be glad to hear that Gemma will no longer be bothering you anymore."
"At least her mind won't," Steven mumbled to himself sarcastically.
Michael continued, saying, "She was... How can I say this politely, unceremoniously booted from her post as HR Rep. Something about embezzlement or fraud, something along those lines but higher than my pay grade allots me to know.”
“Ironic,” Emma sighed.
“Anyways, to cut a long story short, Gemma struck a deal with some senior managers to ensure she still received a sizeable redundancy package from the company. As part of the deal, I was given the opportunity to use her body indefinitely in order for you all to better relate with me; they wanted someone with a youthful mind and fresh ideas, but also the visage of a recognisable figure. It was theorised that you'd take the shakeup in personnel easier if the news came from a familiar face."
"That worked perfectly, didn't it?" Emma blurted out.
"But how can something like this happen?" David asked curiously.
Michael's stolen face lit up and he pointed straight at David. "Great question, Mr Fifth-seat-front-row!" He hurried back to the front of the room and ripped open the bag he'd lay beside the door. He rummaged inside for a moment or two before pulling out...