Brad Watson sighed as his mother had dragged him to yet another counselling session. Ever since his father passed away two years ago, she had been panicking that the two of them were growing apart.
“How come Brit doesn’t have to come to these?” He moaned as they sat across from the therapist.
“Because she still talks to me, I feel like I barely see you anymore” his mother Alice replied, tucking a strand of her shoulder length blonde hair behind her ear.
“Thats cause I’m normally with my friends!” Brad said, glancing over at the woman taking notes across from them, “you know, like a normal teenage boy does!” He added.
“I get that, but I don’t understand why you don’t want to spend time at home!” Alice said, slightly exasperated, “I just miss the closeness we used to have!” She added, also looking over at the therapist. The woman, Dr Mary Hall, scribbled another quick note then put her pen down. She studied the two of them over the rims of her glasses. The boy had clearly got his looks from his mother, they had the same hair colour, and it was even more or less the same length. They were also pretty similar in build and stature. The only real difference between them was one was a 15 year old boy, and the other a 40 year old woman.
“I think I can see what the problem is here” she said calmly, “Brad, you are still finding your independence, and I can understand that. What you lack is empathy for how your mother feels and what she goes through on a daily basis.” She added. Alice smiled at this and sat back.
“Thats what I’ve been trying to tell him!” She said glancing over to her son.
“If you could let me finish please Alice” Mary said, “what you need to understand is what life is like for a teenage boy. While he may still care about his family, he is also trying to find his place in the world, and being with friends is a way of discovering those social aspects of life that are so important to him.”
“There! See!” Brad exclaimed smirking back at his mother.
“So where do we go from here?” Alice asked, sounding a little defeated.
“Thats a very good question, thank you for asking it” Dr Hall smiled sweetly, “Ideally what you both need is to spend a little time in each others shoes so to speak. Learn what life is like for each other.” She added.
“What are you saying?” Alice asked, a little confused.
“Well, when I see couples that are facing difficulties connecting, I normally suggest a little role-reversal exercise. Maybe take a day where they would take on each others responsibilities around the house etc” Mary said, “obviously this wouldn’t be possible for a mother and her child, but something similar could work.” She mused.
“Like what?” Brad asked, equally as confused as his mother, “I spend a day with Mom doing house stuff, and she spends a day with me and my friends?”
“Sort of, you wouldn’t even need to go that far. Maybe just spend some time together at first and just go over what your day entails, no blaming or dismissing, just listen to each other and really try to understand what you each go through” Mary said, “if you can take some time to do this once or twice a week before next months sessions, I think we could make some real headway” she added with a smile. Brad looked at his mother who looked deep in thought.
“I’d be willing to do whatever it takes to stop coming here” he said, “no offence.” He quickly added glancing back at Dr Hall.
“None taken” she replied, “and you Alice?” She asked.
“Of course, you’ve really given me something to think about” she replied.
“Good to hear” Mary smiled placing her notebook in the table beside her, “well that’s all the time we have for today. Think about what I’ve said and I’ll see you both in a month” she added. Brad and Alice both nodded as they got to their feet and left the office. They made their way out the building and towards the parking lot.
“So you’d be willing to do anything eh?” Alice asked as they got into their car.
“Yeah, I live you mom, but I don’t think we need these sessions” Brad grumbled as he strapped himself in.
“Good to know” his mother replied as she started the engine and began to drive home.