Alexandra woke up slowly, as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Rolling onto her side she moved closer to the edge of the bed and, as she reached it, she stopped for a moment to take her breath back. Laying there, on her back, she regained her breath, as she burped away the residual gases of her third after dinner snack of the previous night. Looking down toward the foot of the bed, she stared at the quite large jiggly dome that forced the covers on the bed upwards. Still, as she recalled Doctor Nassar words, she strengthened her resolve.
‘I’ve got this! I won’t let this illness to take me down! It may seem hard, but I’ve got to remember that this is all my mind making tricks on me. The doctor confirmed it, the maids and the butlers too. This is all a trick.’
Steadying herself, she slowly wormed her legs forward, over the edge of the bed, as she then use them to counterbalance herself and get to a seated position. As she did, her belly and her breast were jostled into movement, as they both jiggled for a few moments more even as she stopped again.
Sitting on the edge, she turned her stare at the bedstand clock, noticing that it was already 9:00 AM. Huffing, she brought herself forward as she stood on her legs, before waddling toward the bathroom to freshen herself.
Walking into the shower she enjoyed the lukewarm water running over her body, although, she repeated to herself that what she was feeling wasn’t true.
Even as she could feel the water coursing down her body, passing over her every roll, over every thickened limb, over her chins, she reprimanded herself for believing for even a moment that what she was feeling was real.
Stopping the water, she dried herself and stared at her reflection in the mirror.
She thought with sadness that she had been a fool, before, when she had believed that coming to this place would have been a waste of time. As she stared at her reflection, she saw her thicker waist, with its large spare tire, her limbs, looking like hams, her slender neck, hidden behind the double chin she now was sporting.
“It’s all a lie… this goddamned illness will make me crazy, if I’m not careful…”
In that moment, as she made to leave the bathroom, her middle grumbled angrily at her. As she placed a hand on her stomach, she patted it a few times, as it rippled from her patting.
‘Well… at least it’s not yet all a lie.’
As she waddled out of the bathroom, she returned to her bed, sitting back on its edges as she began to put on her clothes for that day. Tiredly, she collected the folded clothes that one of the maids had left for her on a nearby chair, picking up a large t-shirt, although it gave her some issue to wear it past her breasts, and a pair of elastic shorts. Wearing some flip flops completed her ensemble, as she prepared to go and meet the doctor for breakfast, she suddenly stopped slapping herself lightly to herself.
“My medicines…”
Taking the container in hand, she quickly opened it and poured two pills into her pudgy hand, although while she saw only two, she had actually taken four of them. Then, she popped them into her mouth and, taking a swig at the bottle of chocolate milkshake at the foot of her bed stand, she swallowed, before laying back on the bed, waiting for the wonderful sensation that those tings gave to her. At first they had made her feel dizzy but, after almost a month, she would just feel her mind go blank, as she believed to be relaxing herself.
The door opened, and Larry Nassar walked toward the numbed-out beauty on the bed. He didn’t waste time, for the effects of the pill would fade fast, so he crouched beside her and whispered softly in her ear, leaving orders and instruction on how she was supposed to live.
“Your career is on the line, Aly. You have to give it your best. You will keep on following the doctor’s orders and suggestions. You will keep on having faith in his methods. You know, deep down, that only through him you will manage to recover from this illness. Yet, you feel hungrier every day, and you need to sate yourself. Anorexia is, for you, a fate worse than death…”
As he left her side, he returned to wait outside her door.
This was a ritual now, something he did every morning, waking up and checking out how his Aly was coming along. And as soon as she took her pills, he would enter and update her mind, providing her new suggestions, new ideas to follow.
After a couple minutes more, he gently knocked on the door, just as Aly opened it from inside.
“Hey… G’morning… Doc…”
“Good morning, Aly. How are you feeling today?”
“Hungry…”
“Good. That is good, Aly. It means that the Dysmorphia has not grown in control. That is a very good news. Sadly, it is Monday… and you know what it means…”
“Yeah…” she said as she tried to placate her rumbling belly with one hand “It’s weighing time.”
Larry smiled at the thick girl standing in front of him, grinning to himself as he noticed that she was already out of breath. A massive difference from the gymnast she had been barely two months ago. Leading the way, he made sure to go slow enough for Aly to follow, until they reached the bathroom were the scale was waiting, as they arrived, and he sat on the edge of the bathtub, Aly took off the flipflops, as if they could have changed anything and stepped onto the scale.
For the past six weeks, Larry had been lying to the girl about her true weight, although, he made sure to let her understand the danger she was in.
Sometimes, he would let her believe to have recovered something but, it wouldn’t last long. He needed her to be way bigger to humiliate her publicly.
As the electronic screen stopped, he leaned forward writing down her weight on a note pad, writing “Aly, 6th Week: 120 pounds.”
He knew, of course that the number was shortened but, in the event that Aly would find the booklet, he couldn’t afford to let her know the truth. If she were to find out she had to add 200 pounds to that number she wouldn’t be happy for sure… still, apart from the booklet, her belly was big enough to avoid her to be able to read the scale on her own.
As he straightened, he stared at the hopeful expression on her face.
“Aly… last week you weighed 123.4, an increase of 1,4 pounds against your previous measurements.”
She nodded. Aly knew that it wasn’t much the weight her issue. It was the continuous weight loss the problem. For, she didn’t seem able to stop herself from losing weight and this… could lead to fatal consequences she didn’t want to think about it.
“How… How much it is, today?”
“I’m sorry. 120 pounds. You have lost three point four pounds since last week.”
Angrily she stepped off the scale, placing back the flip-flops, as she slowly stormed out of the bathroom. Larry was right beside her, one hand on her meaty shoulder.
“We will do it, Aly. I know I had told you a couple of months but… even if it takes me a year, I’ll cure you of this illness…”
She slumped her shoulders for a moment but, she recovered quickly.
“You’re right, Doc. I… I must say… though… that I don’t deserve your help… You are… so nice to me… so helpful… and… and I… I thought so many awful things of you… I’m a horrible person…”
Larry would have loved to attack her now, that her defenses were down but, he wouldn’t gain much from it, although, it could give him the chance to berate on her, to have feel even more guilty.
But, doing so, would mean changing completely the strategy they were employing.
Which could be a good thing… Yet, he wanted also to keep things going, to have her truly massive, before destroying her.
So hard to choose… yet, he had to choose now. There wouldn’t be another occasion like this one.
“Aly…”
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