Poof! I popped into existence and immediately tripped over an unexpected comma. Catching myself, I started to curse but immediately pressed my lips shut when I saw the list of rules spray painted on the white wall.
Keep this 13+, please.
I allowed a "shucky darn" to squeak out and, feeling much better after expressing my irritation, looked for a writing utensil of some kind so I could begin writing my epic tales on the blank wall that surrounded me. A chest full of question marks, periods, and quotation marks caught my eye.
"Ah, that's where the comma must have escaped from!" I said aloud. I was alone and had to talk to someone, why not talk to myself? I picked up the stray comma, gave it a good shake, and dropped it into the chest.
"Maybe there's a pencil hiding in there," I murmured to myself. I knelt, groaning as I lowered my ancient body to the floor. Everyone over forty was required to make enough noise when they stood or sat so anyone in the vicinity would know they weren't a spring chicken anymore. It was the law.
I plunged my hand into the chest and fumbled around until an exclamation point jabbed my finger. I yanked my hand out and grimaced at the drop of blood threatening to drip to the white floor.
"Why are these punctuation marks out to get me?!" I crossed my arms over my chest, smearing the blood across my shirt, and scowled. That's when I saw it. THE book that started all of my adventures, just laying innocently behind the chest. I reached for it and—
"Wait a minute! Don't go any further until you give us details about who you are."
I glanced around, startled. "I thought I was alone. Where are you? Who are you?"
"I'm the disembodied voice of this interactive, of course! And you're supposed to let people know stuff about you so they can attempt to write from your POV."
I cocked an eyebrow at the white ceiling, pretty sure the voice of the young girl was coming from above me. "You sure are bossy."
"That's cause I'm the boss. Now follow directions or else!"
It wasn't worth arguing with a teen. They think they know everything and it would just exhaust me. I'd been through it enough times to know.
"Fine. I'm a 42-year old woman, which makes me the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything. I have nine redheaded minions at home that I'm raising to take over the world. I'd rather be outside working in the garden and playing with goats than inside cooking. I don't mind baking, though I'll hog all the cookies that I make. Been married almost 21 years now to a bearded dwarf who used to moonlight as the infamous superhero, MathMan. I can't stand it when—"
"That's enough. You've got a whole paragraph there."
I squinted my eyes, skeptical. "How do you know?"
"I can see it written down."
"Okay, just one more thing...You can call me Genipher, Gen, or Tangent. And I love puns and comedy in my stories and—"
I was offended when the youthful voice cut me off yet again, this time by yeeting the book at my head. Thankfully, I have a mother's reflex and caught it before it could cause damage to my face. With a sigh I flipped open the cover and started reading the first page of the book. What else was I supposed to do in a boring white room with killer punctuation marks just waiting to attack? I was glad it was a book I knew and loved.
"Could really use a comfy chair in here!" I called out, but the disembodied voice had become strangely quiet. I shrugged and sat on the floor, crossing my legs Indian style.
I had read half a page when my fingers started tingling.
"Jumpin' Jiminy! My carpal tunnel is acting up again!"
But I was wrong. So very wrong. The tingling shot up my arm and my fingers started to disappear....into the book. I shrieked but it was too late, my body was turning into a whispy steam and the book was sucking me in. As I disappeared I could have sworn I heard a girlish laugh.
"Have fun in—"
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