You scream as you fly through the air, your tiny voice echoing in your vial, blaring against your ears. You didn't want to die this way. The death you had always planned for yourself was while having sex with three girls in a hot tub, not this.
The vial hits a bit of an updraft and what had been a fairly smooth flight, allowing you to watch your untimely demise, has become a painful freefall as the vial begins turning, throwing you from end to end.
All this happens in mere seconds.
You close your eyes awaiting the final impact on the sidewalk, where the vial will break and you will die impaled on a glass shard not big enough to give anyone else a splinter.
But it doesn't happen. Instead, you feel a huge thud and a stoppage of motion. Then, a muffled scream from the outside, going something like, "Hey mistah! You forgot your necklace! Mistah!!! Oh well..."
The world shakes a bit as the man who caught and saved you begins walking down the street, finally opening a door, rushing the smells of herbs and strange incense all around you. The giant fist around your vial is removed until you see a balding Chinese man, faintly reminiscent of Mr. Miagi ( or rather, Ernie from Happy Days. )
He looks down at you, or rather, at the vial. Speaking out loud as he walks through whatever store he's in, he mutters, in perfect English, "Perfect. This vial looks pretty old. And there looks like there's a seed or something in it. All i have to do is replace the string with a faux-gold chain..." which he does... "and it's bound to be sold in a few hours. I'll call it...a pregnancy herb. Or maybe a breast enhancer. I'll think of something."
Great. You're gonna be sold by a fake holistic healer who operates out of a overly scented strip mall store front.
After your vial is buffed up a bit, you are hung on a mannequin neck next to the cash register. Barely any time passes before a cute girl, wearing a NYU sweatshirt and tight jeans, maybe about 19 or so, comes up to the man, who automatically puts on a fake "charlie chan" accent. They chat for a minute, and she mentions that she has been having trouble reaching an orgasm, in a low hushed voice.
The man's eyes glow. He's found an opportunity to sell his new find for a good profit.
"Well," he begins. "Me just find this special herb from dying grandmother in Hong Kong. She was writhing on pleasure on her death bed. Very potent. I can let go for...maybe...$150."
The girl looks at him. She sizes him up. You look up in anticipation. You'd rather belong to her than stay in this store much longer.
"OK, I'll take it."
Excellent.
"Miss, to use-ah the herb, you must..."
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