As you head under the table, you're keeping both an eye and an ear out for someone familiar. On the far side of the table you hear a voice that is vaguely familiar, you know you've heard it before. You head in that direction and stand at the base of the celebrity, right in front of her sandal-clad feet. There's a mixture between perfume and a hint of a stale vinegary smell, but you ignore it. Looking up, you can make out the face of Jennifer Love Hewitt. "This is pretty sweet," you think to yourself. If you can scale her pants and get to her lap, maybe she'll notice you. It'll be tough to climb at your size, and even tougher to get noticed, but it's the only shot you have. Drawing in a heavy sigh, you jump on the bottom of her pants and begin your climb.
-----Later-----
Huffing and puffing, you come to rest at the crotch area. Jen's sitting down with her legs crossed, and you hope it stays that way, otherwise there will be more climbing involved. "Now how to get her attention," you wonder. You try just jumping up and down, but you're not having much luck. She's engrossed in a pretty interesting conversation. Your only option is to get closer. You begin climbing her shirt, and eventually you make it to the base of her breasts. Suddenly she laughs out loud, her chest shakes, and fall back down in to her lap. "Jeez, this is no good," you say out loud to nobody in particular. You could try climbing the front again, but everytime she laughs you're just going to fall. On the other hand, her back's a lot flatter, and will be less affected by the laughter and easier to scale. Besides, once you get to her shoulders, her ears are only a few inches (or a few body lengths for you) away. Grinning at your cunning idea, you start to circle towards her back.
Eventually you make it to the base of the back of her shirt, and you begin your climb anew. Suddenly you see her arms come behind her back, then cross behind her head. The whole lower side of her back begins to cave inward. "She's stretching!" you realize. As the shirt moves with you on it, you begin to lose your grip. The silky surface isn't much to hold on to. Looking down, you see the back of her pants protrude out slightly, giving you a glimpse at what appears to be a thong. Suddenly she straightens out, and that was all the movement you needed to lose your grip. As you fall, you hit the base of her back and tumble in to the little hole you were looking down earlier.
Your tumble comes to a halt in her pants, right at the top of her butt crack. You look up to see light coming in the hole you fell in, and then you look in front of you to see the top of the thong. A setback, but it could have been worse. Just as you begin your climb again, apparently Jennifer felt the thong uncomfortable for a moment. She lifts her butt off the chair slightly, and as discreetly as possible she slips her hand down the back of her pants and yanks the string out of her butt crack. You fall further down her ass crack as a result, and not wanting to squished when she sat back down, you grabbed on to the thong string. Not one of your better ideas. The instant she lets go of the underwear, you and the string are projectiled deep in to her buttcrack. Screaming, you come to a halt right in front of something ridged, constantly dialating, and slightly stale smelling. "Oh holy hell, I'm right up against her asshole," you think to yourself. There is immense pressure all around as she plants her butt back in to the seat, and the cheeks expand inward to envelope you in warm skin. You realize now that your only hope is to struggle fiercely. Perhaps you're in a sensitive enough area that she'll feel you and head to the bathroom, though you're not sure what'll happen to you if she walks. You begin to wiggle, kick, punch, bite, claw, and do anything else you can think of hoping to get her attention.
Jen's lips twisted as her face distorted in to a look of confusion. Right after she adjusted her thong, her butthole begin tickling ever so slightly. Assuming it was the string brushing up against it, she shifted in place trying to satisfy the itch. She clenched her cheeks together once, and the itch subsided. Her face relaxes, and she resumes conversation, not knowing that the little man deep inside her crack...