"I just love the thinness of the fabric. I adore this sweater. I've got to have it," Aileen gushed.
"It's fab, all right. But it's not your size."
"Oh. Yeah. Thanks for that."
Aileen put the size XXXS sweater on top of the rack, letting it drape awkwardly over top of the rest of the sweaters hanging on the rack. She made a face at the floor manager walking through the aisles between two nearby racks.
"Come on, let's go look over there," Aileen said, jutting a heavily bejewelled finger toward the revolving jewelry case. "Maybe something over there isn't meant for fat people."
"Tell me about it."
Aileen and I both wear clothing in sizes meant for ten year old boys...who like to wear small clothing. It's baggy on us fashionably malnourished twenty-one year olds who have no lives other than shopping, soaps, and dating, although lately, we haven't been able to get a date. People give us weird looks at the club.
We just hate how the fashion industry tries to push off all these size 0, 1, and 2 clothing on us, like we're always supersizing our Mickey D's. Please. We eat our five daily servings of fruit and everything else on the food pyramid, plus vitamins. There's no excuse not to be our size. So why can't we ever find clothing just for us?
It's like as we age, we're shrinking, while the world is growing ever larger around us.
Aileen pulled a frog ring out of the velvety slit it was wedged into. She slipped it on her middle finger, then her thumb.
It fell to the carpeted floor.
"It doesn't fit me. And it's meant for a child!" Aileen wailed, drawing the attention of the store manager, who'd been eyeballing us ever since we entered the small fashion establishment.
I heard a loud rumble. It was my tummy.
I turned to tell the store manager that all was well, but my foot came out of my shoe as a I took a step forward.
Huh?
Oh, yeah. We haven't had our lunch yet. We must have shrunk some more.
You're probably wondering why we are so small, huh?
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