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Review #3206922
Viewing a review of:
Impending Immunity Open in new Window. [13+]
Written by Stacy & myself
by Kristi Author Icon
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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The purpose of this Review is to go over things in your poem like word usage, structure, added imagery, formatting and emotions or feelings of the piece.


Another colaboration between Kristi Author Icon and stacylynn71.

Word Usage:
This is a poem which descfribes how today's society regards marriage in general. I think it is true...we do not value marriage as people used to in 'the olden days'. A lot of people, inclduing me (say it is not so, omni *Shock*) see it as a piece of paper, or a pact that can be broken.

Structure:
All verses have ending rhymes. (so would that rhyme scheme be AAAA, AAAA, ?)It works, whatever scheme it is. The flow is perfect.

Imagery:
Words and fists work together destroying the unity
sinking deeper into the abyss only furthers the impunity
tattered hearts seeking another God-given opportunity
to rid themselves of the impending immunity.
having had been in at least one abusive relationship, the first line, especially, spoke to me. The reference to seeking another God-given opportunity confused me a bit. I do not think God has anything to do with the ugliness here. It almost seems like you are speaking about a confessional or a cleansing of sins by God, but then the last line would have to be rearriagned. They would be gaining immunity.


Emotions/Feelings:
This is so simply stated, I know. But this poem made me sad.

Overall Impression:
Again, another great piece that surprizing comes from a unified collaboration. It seems one poet feeds off the other, creating a piece of art.

   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/22/2009 @ 1:30pm EST
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3206922