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Review #3206925
Viewing a review of:
Mindless Troll Open in new Window. [18+]
Like a puppet on a string
by Kristi Author Icon
Review of Mindless Troll  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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The purpose of this Review is to go over things in your poem like word usage, structure, added imagery, formatting and emotions or feelings of the piece.


I am happy that I found this piece. you are right, it seems I have missed many of your pieces. I am glad I am finding more to read from your port.

Word Usage:
You painted a clear picture of what it is like to be a puppet on a string. The words you chose were great.

Try to outsmart me
I'll knock your ass down
below ground level
you've dug your own hole.

I am not sure if you will agree but I would take out the word 'own' in the last line. It breaks the flow for me, especially when reading the following verse.


Structure:
There is a rhyme scheme and each ending word of each verse rhymes. It anchors the entire piece. The flow was good.

Imagery:
You apinted a clear and frightening picture of what being an addict is like. I can relate, I think anyone who has had an substance abuse problem could.

Emotions/Feelings:
This poem is a lie, but so is the drug that caused you to write this. The drug always wants us to believe there is no way out, that we have dug ourselves to big a hole to ever get out of it. Thankfully, many stop believing in the drug and start believing in themselves.

Overall Impression:
I liked this, Kristi. thanks for sharing!


   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/22/2009 @ 1:31pm EST
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3206925