Wow! I enjoyed reading your heartfelt lyrics That I found on the Simply Positive Newbie Review Page.
You created a fine structure with consistent rhyme and the repeated lines are effective. I love the last verse!

I can hear the lone tone of the singer as he struggles with the confusion of finding his path. I like the concepts of the "comforting silence" and the "linear path" and not "repeating the past".

Some things I notice/suggest to improve this wonderful lyric. The are just my ideas/opinions for your consideration.

I do not know the tune of the song so I read it aloud and noted where the rhythm seemed awkward from that stand point.:

"To join you in your life or at least catch glance" stopped me up when I read it aloud. It doesn't flow as well as the rest. Something like " To join in your life or at least catch a glance" might make it tighter.

It feels the same with: "So i'll wander in this hallway never finding home" Too many syllables. Maybe leave out "in" and say "never find home'

Some of your "I"s are not capitals.

Thank you for sharing your deep thinking in these moving lyrics. The title suits the confusing circle of mind indicated by the words and images you chose. There is almost a haunting melody about the piece. Well done.

Welcome to WDC and thank you for allowing us to read your expressions. Keep on doing what you do and write on! Follow that song in your heart! Eyestar

** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable **