Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: I like the title, but little of the poem is about sunshine, its about the bird
Description: Dark as in fears, but the title implies light.
Contents: You've written a poem about a baby bird that thinks he's ready to leave the nest. There will be trials and tribulations, is the baby really ready to fly. At the end, he/ she does take wing into 'God's' ocean of air.

Conventions: As I read aloud, which is the way to really enjoy poetry, I have difficulty with the flow or meter of your work. It reads like you were just trying to make the ends of the line rhyme, and the meaning of the words is lost.

Think about the plot behind your poem. What's the message you want the reader to take away?

having bird spending day best;>> What does this mean? Are there words missing?- I know my brain thinks words faster than I can type, I have to go back several times to make sure I've written it exactly as I thought I wrote it.

Some advice a reviewer gave me one time. Read your work out loud line by line, or sentence by sentence in a story. You'll be amazed at what you catch... What still trips me up, I'll read it like I think I wrote it. It is better for me to put it away for a day or two and then go back to read it.



Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.


Amay