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Reading this had something tragic. The tragedy came from the circumstances of two people's outward, social life and the decision they both had to make in order to not disturb, maybe destroy the former. With making the "right" decision however they also denied themselves and what they really desired and it left a still burning scar in them both that always reminds them of what can't be.

Also you introduce the activity of writing and how it can literally bring like-minded people together in a sizzling way. Writing was the first common denominator, the more came automatically with sharing beyond the fictional facade. You discovered the person behind the words in many ways and it can tie together and does. I got a sense of that myself several times on WDC.

You two were given a short time where you thought you could forget reality and just enjoy yourselves, but even then reality poisoned it with putting a barrier between it and what could be. The experience certainly left none of you cold, but I got the feeling that the friendship arising was... no, not false, indeed very true... but kind of a consolation prize.

You know you can never do what you desire but you can at least get out as most of it as you can. Acknowledging having met and learning to appreciate a very special individual that influenced you and your life a lot is something great, too.

But when it's over there's still this nagging, this feeling of having lost something, someone dear. It's in our all nature to strive for what we desire, for what gives us this feeling of being complete and a whole. Having it right before our noses, the special someone even returning it, is nothing less than emotional torture, because with him/her/it being so close we also can't let go because deep down we hope that someday our efforts and strains will be rewarded.

When one isn't careful something as beautiful as intense love and desire can degenerate into a (self-)destructive obsession that hinders one to live and move on and finally can consume one. It shouldn't end like that since those feelings, if they're really true, are not natural.