Hello grockl,

Wow, what a stirring and beautiful poem. I see what you mean about the first stanza however. The last line of the stanza is what is confusing to me. I think it is because of the word "tries." I am not sure of your meaning there.

Since I'm not sure what you are trying to say with that line I am probably not much help but do any of these convey your meaning better?

Is this the hand of another that "tears" your heart in two? Or "tugs" on your heart strings? Or maybe just "rips" it to pieces.

Anyway, other than that line I think the poem is marvelous. It elicits emotes and excites. I actually caught myself starting to raise my first on the "Cry!" lines. Bravo.

I hope this review proves somewhat helpful and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



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