Hello Obg,

Well I read in your info line that you meant this to be funny but not in your face. All I can say is that this is pretty damn funny.

I really like it but if you want it to be a more subtle comedy then you might want to take out or tone down the next to the last stanza. That is just way too action packed to be subtle, with the exercise and sprinting, horns sounding and forcing to leave. It's pretty in your face but funny as heck hehe.

I love the lines about Pavlov and the scientific breakdown of the digestive process. Now that's subtle humor in my opinion. I think both are great and neither are over the top.

One observation however, I think this poem is more about eating and the digestive process than actual food. I guess it all depends on how closely you have to follow the prompt.

Overall, I thought it was a great poem hilariously entertaining. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



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