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Review by Lilithmoon☽ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Hello BellaDonna,

I like this poem very much. It is dark and haunting. I feel sorry for the voice because of their isolation.

I have one suggestion but keep in mind I know next to nothing about poetry so I wouldn't put a lot of credence in what I think hehe. I would consider changing these two lines:

It left me here to sit, atone,
to contemplate why I'm alone.


to:

It left me here to sit, alone,
to contemplate why I should atone.

Of course, it is your poem and I think it is beautiful just the way it is so use your discretion.

Thank you for sharing your poem and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/01/2011 @ 6:05pm EDT
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