Hello millershelly,

My God. I'm use to reading lighthearted funny poems from you miller. I totally wasn't expecting this. This is just so dark.

The language of this poem is haunting and beautiful but at the same rather vague. Perhaps it is intentional on your part but you seem to speak around the abuse and never give any specifics.

I am a strong believer in that the readers imagination is far better than anything a writer can write but I think in this case you need to give the reader a little more information.

She learned quickly to hide her tears. Why was she crying? Who are those who seek to seal her fate? Her father? Society?

Given life, to ease the need
Of her father's sin and greed

How does her life ease her father's sin? Or his greed? Did he sell her or make money off her somehow?

How? When you use the word innocence I immediately think sexual abuse but it could be shattered in other ways.

This is an incredibly powerful image but I really have no idea how she came to this state.

I understand that there is a fine line between drama and morbidity but I feel that more detail would give this poem the emotional charge that it needs. As it is now I feel like I am being told her life is tragic but I don't see or feel it is tragic.

Okay now I feel like I'm beating a dead horse. The reason I am giving this 4 stars is for the beauty of the words, the excellent rhythm and rhyme and for the last stanza alone. The last two lines are like the power chord in a rock ballad, very moving.

I hope you find this review somewhat helpful and not overly harsh it is never my intention to offend only to give honest constructive reviews. I am a big fan of your poetry miller, I just think this one needs a little tweaking.

Thanks for sharing I look forward to reading more from you in the future. Hopefully something more lighthearted and funny of which you are a master.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



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