Hello James,

This is really beautiful. The narrator conveys the depth of his feelings perfectly. The language and flow is awesome. I think this is just a very well written flash.

It is charming and innocent. The characters are timeless which lets the reader imagine the circumstance of their missed opportunity. You imply that it is a forbidden love when you say it is the first time they have met without the pressures of society but that leaves a lot to the imagination. Well done.

Overall, I think you did a wonderful job with this piece. I can't really think of any suggestions for improvement other than maybe expanding upon it. I think if it was a little longer you can get even deeper into the characterization then it would be a 5 star piece. It is close now. I really like it.

Thank you for sharing I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



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