Hey Creativity5,

This is definitely not horrible. I think there is an awesome concept behind this poem of two devil lovers that aspire to corrupt and torment mankind glorifying their Lord Satan.

I think the language is very eloquent I would just give a word of caution here. You need to be careful when writing anything but especially poetry that your language doesn't become so flowery or overwrought that it obscures your meaning. There are some places in this poem where I am not sure what you are trying to say. When the readers don't understand what is going they ten to lose interest.
Here:

and here:






Now I think I understand what you are saying but it took me at least two to three times reading parts of this to really get it.

Generally speaking I don't think you want to make your readers work that hard because they will get frustrated and give up especially if it is a long poem.

My one suggestion is to go back over this and see if they are places where you can be more concise. Make sure you are using the best possible words you can to make your point not just the most elegant sounding.

Overall, I really like the poem, the concept of it is very cool. Temptation never goes out of style. I hope you found this review somewhat helpful and not overly harsh it is never my intention to offend only to give honest and constructive reviews. Thanks for sharing your work and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



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