Hello Todd,

Congratulations on winning the

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I liked this story for several reasons. The two biggest are scare factor and originality. It's like you took two classic themes the monster under the bed and the chattering teeth combined them into one terrifying story that will never allow me to put a teddy bear on my bed again. This should make my husband very happy by the way.

I know that because of the contest you were limited on word count and possibly time but now that the contest is over I think this story has a little room for improvement.

Collingsworth is such a great despicable character I would even consider adding more back story and set up with him. Show him harassing Summer more before the big payoff.

In my opinion sounds make for some of the scariest moments in any horror story and the clack-clack of Collingsworth's teeth is just spine chilling. I think now that you can you should extend and emphasize those moments and that sound more now.

One other thing that I didn't quite understand is why Summer was spared. Is it because she hasn't finished sweeping under the bed or because she has? Is the creature/bears still after her or has she earned her escape?

As an author I know how effective it is to leave things up to the imagination and to keep the reader guessing but as a reader I would like some clarification. Up to you either way but if you were to add a line or two of Summer perhaps expanding on what the bears said it wouldn't hurt my feelings. Nor do I think it would detract from the story, it might even enhance it depending on what they told her.

Overall, I thought this was a great story full of frights and shivers. It is well written and your style is very concise and easy to follow. Your characters are not only colorful but very believable. Their realism adds a depth to the story that invites the reader to let go and see through their eyes. Bravo!

Thanks for the ride, I enjoyed it and look forward to reading more from you in the future.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



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