Hello elizjohn,

Well you certainly didn't make judging this contest easy on me. You have proven yourself to be quite the consummate horror writer. This is a superbly written story. I really liked it. I think my decision ultimately came down to scare factor. I have to be honest I feel the winner was a bit more frightening in my opinion.

However, this story could have won on originality alone. I am a major fan of twist endings and this one delivered in spades. I really love it.

I think now that the contest is over and you have more room as far as word count and time I would try to make this piece even scarier. I think if you had the patience and the desire you could make this piece really terrifying by using the slow boil technique.

You could show the reader how the child is constantly being terrorized night after night and let us experience the trauma with him/her/it.

I can see the difficulty of adding to this story without giving it all away but I think if you really spent some time with this piece it could be truly extraordinary. It is already an incredible piece of writing. Thanks for sharing and I can't wait to see what you come up with next.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



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