\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3584499
Review #3584499
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  Open in new Window.
Review by Lilithmoon☽ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hey E.,

Damn, I knew they was going to tell Jenna. So yeah, maybe I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong but I don't trust Jenna. Why are kids always so trusting of everyone except their parents? You would think that it would dawn on them that parents are the only ones worth even remotely trusting. Oh well, great chapter.


I told Mom and Dad we were going to walk around while for a while and they didn't protest.
P2 S1 (extra word)

She crossed her arms over her chest and tossed her head back, her blond hair blowing in the nights breeze.
P7 S3 (drop "s")

He came back to the office that night after talking to you, Trey, complaining about you causing trouble and some shit about a wilod wild goose chase.
P11 S2

He's still a fucking hero in this screwed up town's eyes and I can't live with that shit.
P11 S5 (apostrophe needed)

I started to ball bawl like a little baby.
P31 S5

Jenna burst, grabbing Eddy by the front of her shirt.
P42 S2 (I think you mean "his" shirt)


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..

*Vine2* Answering your request for a review on behalf of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.! *Vine1*


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/09/2011 @ 12:01am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3584499