Hi Summer Wind is Healing

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Cast Down At Mercy's Feet"  [18+] on behalf of the "Two-in-One Poetry Contest"  [13+].

First Impression/Thoughts:
I'm conflicted I enjoyed your vision of suicide (albeit, from a literary perspective - not one who has ever contemplated it) but it runs at odds with my own views. That is the beauty of poetry - we each have our own inner visions and that allows us to challenge others, to find common ground, and to find fresh perspectives.

Creativity/Impact:
There was a staccato feel to this - short bursts of feelings - which clearly showed a panicked feel as the emotions overwhelmed the writer. Excellent approach that brought the feelings to the forefront of the words.

Content:
Almost vignette in feel, you present a series of thoughts/feelings/emotions that lead to suicide. I felt that your approach was effective but ultimately unsatisfying in that it was too brief. You didn't allow the reader beyond these brief flashes to understand what was driving the feelings. Since I'm assuming most readers will not have experienced them, it's difficult for many to "fill in the blanks" without some insight from the author. Think of it as taking us on a new trail but then leaving us without a guide .

Technical Notes:
Well written and well crafted! Poets have explained that free verse, despite its freedom, is not free. Free Verse (or vers libre ) displays some elements of form. Most free verse continues to observe a convention of the poetic line - in other words, it should "feel like poetry" even without rhyme. I didn't get that from this write. Please, this is not criticism but my own feelings. You are the poet and, in the end, that's what matters.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
An interesting and worthy write. I appreciate your perspective of this ultimate yielding to the painful process of living.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

You responded to this review 11/05/2011 @ 7:07pm EDT

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