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 Review #3626404 |
 | Mozart in the 21st Century  [E] A short, humorous story.  |
| (4.5)  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Title: Mozart in the 21st Century Author: A. P. Enderson Type: Short story I found this piece posted at "Newbie Help And Support Review Central" For any reader willing to suspend disbelief, this should be a very enjoyable tale. It is well written, and the subtle humour makes it entertaining as well as thought-provoking. Your writing style is excellent, which for me is as important as the story itself. Overall, I enjoyed the read very much. I really didn't find much I would improve, but here are a couple of things that you might want to look at: The fist line, "I brought back Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart." I would put a period at the end of that line. Let it stand on its own, let the reader experience the impact of that statement for a moment, before launching into the explanations how it happened. I would probably go as far as inserting a paragraph break there too, just to allow the reader to get the full impact and go, "You did WHAT?" It is such a great beginning to the story, it seems a shame to waste it in a half-sentence. As I just mentioned that you explain how it was done, the one thing I wasn't sure about was the "why". You might have done that deliberately, but for me, it seemed an important part of the story, and the question wasn't really answered. Of course, there is always the reply, "because I could", but that seemed unsatisfactory. Clearly, it was a huge endeavour, and not to explain to the reader why it was attempted to begin with left me hanging a little. You mention at one point about capturing Mozart's intellect, and I'm guessing that was the motivation for the whole thing, but perhaps some further explanation why Mozart, why not any of the other great minds, might help the reader understand. I liked that you broke the story into different parts, starting with the details of bringing Mozart back to life. I admit that the scientific details were lost on me, although they certainly sounded logical, in that unbelievable way that was the premise for this story. My favourite part was when he learned about the world he was now living in. This could have very easily turned into a farce like some movies with a similar theme, with hilarious scenes and slapstick comedy, but you stayed away from that, and it was your matter-of-fact tone that made that part enjoyable for me. The "giant tidal wave" seemed a little contrived to me, and as a twist, I would have liked some hints leading up to it, but as this is comedy, I assume that you chose the event for a laugh rather than logic, and for that it certainly worked. As a humorous piece, the story only briefly touches on the implications a discovery like this would have, like there being too many people in the world as no one would ever die, but to me that worked well as after all, this wasn't a serious scientific work but a comedy. The last line was great, and wrapped up the tale nicely. Welcome to Writing.Com, I hope that your stay here is enjoyable  ** Image ID #1795158 Unavailable **
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You responded to this review 12/01/2011 @ 6:42pm EST