Hello ninsianna , and

Great work! This little piece says a lot with only a few words involved! But, perhaps it might be too short.Try lengthening it out some, add some more depth to this piece, at least a few more lines, I know you have some more words inside you just waiting to come out! But, the way it is, my suggestions for corrections are to add a comma after the first line, and end the second line with a period. Other than that...Write on!