First Impressions:
Thoroughly identified voice through out the piece, unique but not showy.

Good Points:
Descriptive and subtley emotional.

Grammar and Spelling:
All seems accuate

Character:
Well identified and distinguished with admirable traits reminiscent of a role model.

Suggestions:
Add a little more to the beginning to really capture the readers attention.

Overall:
Great piece of work, detailed and blending the emotional with the factual quite well.