First Response: Strong, emotional, even gut-wrenching writing! However, while the writing is legitimate, it's purpose is just to show it's worth. Their is no meaning behind the piece, is does not offer understanding or details, and although beatifully written, without a reason or purpose it's superficial.

Characters: The narrator is detailed and intelligent, but that is all that can be deferred from the writing.

Spelling and Grammar: Well written, well structured with good vocabulary. However, some of the sentences need to be rearranged or rephrased as they come off as made overly complex and it degrades the emotional response.Like the last sentence, "for this, those who have waited for the nothing will pay, and along with this will disintegrate."
Perhaps change just the punctuation: " For this; those who have waited for nothing (remove the article the)will pay. Along with this, they will disintergrate.

Good Points: Strong voice, personalities, and thoughts.

Suggestions: Just work on the purpose of the piece, the details of the scene including the character and background.

Overall: Good writing, would love to read your other work!