First Response: Passionate, intentional, and scorned were the inital reactions brought from this writing.

Characters: Vague, which suits the intended representation of the piece. Obviously very emotionally derived, and an underlying tone of hurt is clear and comes off excellent.

Spelling and Grammar: Maybe a few restructures. For instance, istead of "birth for you doesn't really count. It's because you don't exist", it'd be more appropriate to read "birth for you doesn't really count; it's because you don't exist."
And "...laughable concepts. None in which..." should be "...laughable concepts, none in which..."

Good Points: Well written, memorable,and strong conviction

Suggestions: Detail, lengthen.

Overall: Good foundation. Articulate, and well conveyed.